Living With Jared Padalecki

27/ walk through the fire

It's okay, you did okay.

Holy crap.

I just auditioned for a role in season twelve of Supernatural, and for some reason, I am pretty sure I did okay. Four days ago, I mustered up enough courage to ask Jared about it, and much to my surprise, he was more than happy to help, like Vicki predicted.

The role I auditioned for was a girl who's eight year old brother suddenly lapsed into a coma because of a run-in with some new monster that the Winchesters have never seen before.

The boys keep telling me to watch seasons one through eleven, because they are still under the impression that I am not a fan. I am still going to keep it a secret, I will just re-watch the series again, for the hundredth time.

I don't mind at all, though. I love Supernatural and I will watch it again many times in the future.

     But at the moment, I am too angst-filled and fidgety to sit and watch television. The supernatural people are supposed to be calling any time to let me know how I did.

     I get through about half a season, just as a distraction from my impatience. I get up to Asylum before I decide to quit, and I go downstairs, seeking out the small moose I have become so fond of.

     "Thomas?" I call out, then wince at my mistake. He is fast asleep on the couch, curled up in a ball and snoring quietly. I smile and brush his brown hair aside, kissing his forehead gently before going into the kitchen to look for Jared and Gen.

     "Hey," Jared greets. He is sitting at the counter, sipping on a bottle of water. His laptop is opened up in front of him, reminding me of the character he plays on TV. "Did you watch any yet?" I take a short glass out of the cupboard and fill it with cold water, leaning against the sink.

     "Some."

     "D'ya like it so far?" He questions, and I resist the urge to pour out all my feelings about this show, the one I have been watching since I was ten.

     "Yeah," I reply. "But I think it will take me a while to watch all eleven seasons." Lying through my teeth to Jared Padalecki is not my favorite thing, but, I gotta do what I gotta do. "If I even get it," I add to myself, but he hears it.

     "What?" He says. "Of course you'll get it." I scoff, taking another sip of my water. He is saying this simply because he has to, because it's the right thing to say. Of course, I probably won't get it. It was a sloppy performance and I'm starting to realize that.

     "After you left, I talked to them. They were very impressed." Again, I roll my eyes and scoff, and use this silence to my advantage to steer the conversation towards a different direction.

     "Where is everybody?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. Jared doesn't press on the earlier subject, but instead answers my question.

     "Out back, swimming," he responds. "It's really hot outside. You can join them if you want." I raise my eyebrows, as I'm not too fond of being around others, let alone swimming with them.

     A sudden realization dawns up one me: my full character is based on the fact that I am isolated. Because I never do anything spontaneous or interesting, I am a boring person. If I go to my room and hide instead of joining them, that sort of makes mean antisocial freak.

     But if I do join them, then that will be a step in the right direction: towards fixing my problems. By forcing myself to participate in social encounters, I believe it will be easier for me to starts conversations in the future.