Living With Jared Padalecki

6/ boulevard of broken dreams

The ride to the house took about twenty minutes. Gen and Danneel talk about some stuff but I don't really pay attention. Being in a new place, I'm obviously too busy looking at the different things that we pass by.

"It's pretty, isn't it, Charlie?" Danneel asks, looking at me through the rearview mirror. I catch her gaze for a moment, then look back out the window without answering her. I'm not really in a mood to talk. Just as I look out the window, we pass by an amusement park. I see a tall red roller coaster. My heart thuds erratically. Amusement parks are one of my favorite things in the world.

A huge smile spreads across my face as I see a bunch of people throw their arms up and scream as they go down one of taller coasters.

Gen notices me staring out the window. "You like amusement parks?" She asks. I nod a little.

"Who doesn't?" I say, more of a rhetorical question than anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Gen and Danneel giving each other weird looks. Then Danneel clears her throat.

"So, Charlie," she starts, looking at me through the rearview mirror. I catch her gaze to let her know that I'm listening. "Are you doing okay?" I immediately know that she is referring to my mother's death. I feel like if I say yes, then I'll sound like someone who is completely unaffected by it, and if I say no, she will want to talk about it more. So, I just fold my hands in my lap and look down at them, keeping my gaze away from theirs.

It's not that I don't want to talk to them, but I guess I just don't feel comfortable enough around them yet to open up to them. Well, I've known Mason for years and I don't even open up to her all the way.

The amount of time I spend alone with myself scares me. I feel like if I don't talk to someone about this soon, I'll drown myself in my self-loathing thoughts and eventually kill myself.

"We're here," Gen says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look up as we pull into a driveway. I look up at the massively large house that sits in front of me, and my eyes widen a little. It looks so home-y and comfortable.

The next thing I notice is the kids playing in the yard, probably five of them? I notice a woman sitting in the middle of the pile of kids, laughing and smiling. She looks up as we pull in to the driveway and come to a stop. As I get a closer look at her face, I recognize her as Misha's wife, Victoria Vantoch.

My heart does a thing in my chest as I open the door and come face to face with her. I notice little Maison tugging on her mother's sleeve. I smile at the sight.

"Hey, you must be Charlie," Victoria says, holding her hand out for me to shake. Surprisingly, I shake it without hesitation, smiling a little. "I'm Victoria, but you can call me Vicki." I don't know what it is about her, but I like her a lot already, and I'm pretty sure I'll get along with her great.

"Who's this?" I ask, gesturing towards the little girl tugging at her sleeve. Obviously, I know that it's her daughter, Maison, but I don't want to tell her that I know that.

"Oh, this is my daughter, Maison," she lifts her daughter up, so Maison is at eye level with me. I have to admit, she looks so much like Misha. "This is Charlie," Vicki says to Maison. I smile at Maison a little, and she smiles back, making my heart flutter at the sight.

"Hi, Charlie," she mumbles, shyly. I smile bigger, overwhelmed by how adorable she is. "I wanna go play with West, mommy," she says to Vicki. Her mom sets her down on the ground and I watch as the little girl runs over to play with her big brother.

"She's so cute," I say, still smiling. Vicki looks at me again.

"The guys had to go to a business lunch, but they should be back in a half hour or so," she says. Again, I don't tell her that I already know. "Do you want me to show you where your room is? Gen was going to, but she looks busy at the moment." I turn around to see two boys, probably Gen's, tugging on her coat sleeve and talking to her quietly. Vicki and I both laugh at the sight before going in the house.

"It's hot here," I say, because I noticed how much I have started sweating since we got off the plane.

"I know," she replies, shutting the front door of the house behind me. "It's perfect for swimming, though." My heart does that thing again, where I'm shocked in a happy way. I hardly ever went swimming at home. I used to all the time when I was little, but I don't much anymore. I'm not sure why. "You can put your shoes right there," she motions towards the part of the floor by the front door.

The first thing I notice about the house is how perfect the temperature is. It's not too hot for me, and it's not too cold.

"Wow," I say, a little breathless at the view. Jared's house actually doesn't look much different than it did in the episode of Supernatural called 'the French Mistake'.

"It is a nice house, isn't it?" Vicki says, smiling a little. I nod. "Your room is upstairs. Come on, I'll show you." I follow her upstairs and down the hallway. She stops at a room on the right, third down. She opens the door and steps in, turning the light on.

My jaw drops a little, taking in the beautiful sight before me. This room is way larger than mine back at home, probably twice as big. The first things I notice are a tall empty book shelf, a very nice bed with a dark blue blanket and pillow, and a flat screen television.

The walls are a red-pink color, which I honestly love. I notice a small bathroom across the room from me, hooked to the bedroom. My bedroom.

I have my own fucking bathroom.

The next thing I notice, which shocks me to my very core, is an iPhone sitting on the small night stand next to the bed. I lower my eyebrows.

"Who's phone is that?" I ask Vicki, pointing at the phone. She looks at me and smiles brightly.

"I believe it's yours," she says, causing my eyes to widen. I have never ever had a cell phone in my life. We didn't have service where I lived back at home, and I never really had that many friends, so I was happy with my iPod 5. "A little housewarming gift from Jared." A lump forms in my throat and my eyes nearly fill up with tears.

I mean, wouldn't you start to tear up if your life long idol bought you something expensive that you could never have before he/ she even met you?

Yeah, I bet you would.

I step forward slowly, and pick up the white iPhone. I nearly get goosebumps from how smooth it feels.

"I think Jared put his and Gen's number into it already," Vicki says. My heart is rate on overdrive. I mean, how do you respond to this? I have literally been here less than ten minutes and they've already spoiled me so.

The sound of little feet running up the stairs interrupts my thoughts and I pick my head up. I raise my eyebrows as little Maison appears in the doorway, nearly out of breath.

"Mom, daddy's home!" She says, excitedly, and runs back down the stairs. I feel my heart thud erratically in my chest and my breath get a little short. Vicki looks over and smiles at me.

"You ready to meet the boys?" She asks as we step out of my room and shut the light off. I feel my hands start to tremble a little.

"Actually, can I use the bathroom first?" I ask, tugging at my shirt collar a little. She laughs a little.

"Yeah, I'll tell them you'll be down in a minute." She starts walking away, going down the stairs. I step back into my room, turn my light on, and go across the room to my bathroom.

I flick the light on and stare in the mirror, almost cringing. I've always hated my face. Well, actually, I've always hated my everything. Suddenly, all the ways that this could go wrong come flooding back to me.

I've never been in such a terrible, nerve-wracking situation in which I actually had an anxiety attack. Right now, I feel pretty close to having one.

I take a few deep breaths and leave my room, heading down the stairs.

Time to meet my idols.