Notorious || J. Cole & Beyonce

Chapter 1.

Beyoncé.

"Thank you Ravid." I wave off to my driver as I exit my car.

I just finished shooting the video for my song, Jealous, for my 3rd album.
I recorded that song after a big argument I had with Jermaine.

I'm sick of coming home to him drinking and smoking. We've been together since our senior year. We had goals to achieve together, now, that we got it, our stress level is so high.

We're having so many problems in our relationship right now, we've been through worse, but our main problem right now is jealousy, from both of us.

"Hey baby how was the shoot?" He kisses me as I enter our room. "It was good, I can show you some photos if you want" I say and he nods. I pull out my phone and press the photo that poped out on the screen righ after.
"Why are you wearing this?" He jumps off the bed. "Haven't we already talked about this?" he takes out his weed box, Here we go.

"Why are you so overprotective? I'm your girlfriend not your daughter" I say rolling my eyes.
"You can't be controlling everything I wear. That shit old already" I sigh. "No other man has to see what only I can see" he says rolling his blunt. "Really J?" I laugh sarcastically.
Everytime he's stressed or we argue, he starts smoking, that has been happening for years now.

"Jermaine stop smoking man." I go to him attempting to take the weed off from him, which was a fail. "Shut up" he says taking his first puff:

"You know I'm releasing my album, right after that I'm off to tour. That's enough stress. Now I come home to us fighting?" I start tearing up. "You don't know what I'm going through to be smoking all the time." He rolls his eyes. "That's because you don't talk to me! What do you expect me to do?" I seat next to him.

"Beyoncé" he takes a deep breath "You're bringing me too much stress, I think we need a break." I pause. I already knew this was going to happen anytime soon.
"Really? Okay. Get out of my house then." I walk over to his closet and start putting his clothes on the floor.
"Since you rather be with those broke ass bitches instead of me? Good." I mumble. "You're being over dramatic." He starts packing his stuff.

"So this is it? 16 years for what? For you to just go away?" I turn to him, "Bey, I just need to go away for a while to clear my mind, I won't sleep with nobody." He continues smoking. "Okay Jermaine, do your thing. When you decide to try make this relationship work, holla at me." I grab my purse and head out.

•••

"Heaven couldn't wait for you.
So go on, go home..."

I hit pause on the song and close my eyes, thinking. Heaven is a song about my child, who I lost, a week ago. I still haven't told Jermaine because honestly, I'm scared. I blame myself about it. I was so happy when I found out, now that me and him are financially stable, we could start a family, I couldn't think about nothing else besides choosing out names and looking at clothes and stuff, but when I went to the doctor, there was no heartbeat..

Now here I am, the reason why Jermaine's first child isn't born, the reason why I lost the baby, the reason why jermaine left to, god knows where, doing, Who knows..

Alone in this studio, feeling empty and sad. I wish I had Jermaine next to me, supporting me, but now that he's away somewhere, all I can do is pray, for our relationship.