Notorious || J. Cole & Beyonce

Chapter 16.

Beyoncé

*Months after Blue's birth*

"I love you" I look at Jermaine kissing Blue. I already lost the count of how many times he has said that to her. "Jermaine let her sleep" I laugh, "Aw, mommy getting jealous?" He chuckles "You know I love you too" he places blue in her crib. "Shut up"

"How are you feeling?" He sits next to me, "Exhausted, never thought it would be this hard" I shake my head. "You're saying that but it was you who yesterday said that you want to go back to work. How does that work." I laugh, "I know, but I'm Bey, I always need to be extra"
"But you were the one who went to the studio and write a song about Blue." I hit him playfully. "You right. But you need to rest. Matter of fact, can I go to the studio and finish the song? I mean Blue-" "Yeah yeah go ahead, you're lucky your daughter doesn't cry alot." I smile. "But don't come home late though." I look at him. "I promise. Love you" he kisses me.

J. Cole

"Chantel listen, I don't want anything with you. You knew what this is from the beginning" I say as I stare at her, her makeup was running because of her crying. "But Jermaine, we've been doing this for years. I'm in love with you." She walks towards me. "Beyoncé can't please you like I can." She kisses my neck. "What does she have that I don't?" "Don't bring her into this." I roll my eyes. "I love Beyoncé, and she's the one I'm marrying." She sighs. "You love her? Ha. Funny. If you did, you wouldn't be here right now" she winks at me.

"Don't twist this shit. You know we can ever be together. End of." "Jermaine I love you. I want you. What can I do-" "No man, nothing. I don't love or either want you. Stop." "Fine. Then we're ending this." She crosses her arms. "Do you think I really care about that. I can easily find another one" I laugh. "Well, Beyoncé is not gonna like to know this is she?" She raises her eyebrow. "Don't you dare" "Since we're both in good terms, I want you to give me more money." "How much" "Ten thousand, per month"

•••

"My nice is cute" Mike says holding Blue. "Hi Blue Blue. You're favourite unc-" "Shut up Mike" Ibrahim slaps Mike and we all laugh. It's good to see how everyone is taking care of Blue, they see her as one of their own. "Bae you want food?" I say at Beyoncé, she was attentively on her Macbook, looking at catering for our wedding. "Nah I'm good" She looks at me. "I can't wait for our wedding. I'm so happy to have you" she smiles at me and I smile back.

Everyday I feel guilty of cheating on her, she deserves more than what I have to offer. We constantly go to therapy, but it doesn't help. If Bey isn't the woman who I will give up cheating for, then who is? "I'm too. I love you" I kiss her. "Mike, can I talk to you for a second?" I look at Mike as he plays with Blue, who was on top of the mixing table playing with the buttons. The studio was definitely our second home. "Sure" We both enter to another room.

"I gotta tell you something. I can't anymore" I rub my head. "Go on" he stares at me confused. "I've been cheating on Bey. Again" I sigh. "Nigga what the fuck? Y'all got a whole baby and you guys near getting married. What's wrong with you man?" He screams at. I hate the fact that he's always puts me on check. "What do you think Bey's reaction will be when she finds out? She's going to be devastated" "I know man I know. I can't help myself. What should I do?" I ask. "I don't know, maybe, stop cheating? The fuck you mean? Jermaine I sincerely don't know what to tell you. This time you're on your own." He gives me a look. "Mike, I love Bey, I don't want to hurt her. But I can stop myself of not doing it. Mike I-" "Jermaine! Mike!" I hear Beyoncé scream and we both ran to the where they were.

"Jay?"