Ink

Holding On To You

     As soon as we got to the hospital, I ran to the reception desk and asked for Josh. The nurse on duty sighed sadly and informed me that they couldn't release any information or allow me to see him until further notice.

     "Do you have a Jack Barakat checked in here?" Jennifer whispered.

     The nurse glanced down at her paperwork.

     "We do. All I can tell you is that they were brought in together," she replied.

     Jennifer's eyes sparkled with tears.

     "Come on," Natalie muttered, "let's go sit in the waiting room."

     The wait was sheer agony. I paced between the rows of chairs for what seemed like an eternity. Natalie was trying to console Jennifer, rubbing her back lightly as she wept into her shoulder.

     I couldn't cry anymore. Fear had paralyzed my sadness. I felt only numb disbelief.

     "For Joshua Dun?" said another nurse coming through a nearby door. I saw her name badge read Melanie.

     "Yes! What happened? How is he? Can I go see him?" I fired at her instantly.

     "Joshua was in a car accident. The car looks to have come up on a turn in the road and crashed into the wall barrier. He suffered some head trauma and has a broken arm. He's stable, but sleeping since he's heavily medicated. You can see him, but obviously he won't interact," nurse Melanie replied.

     "Head trauma? Will he be okay?" Natalie asked, her eyes widening.

     "We need to keep him here for a few days to be sure, but for now it doesn't seem to have lasting effects. A silver lining," she tried to assure me.

     "What about Jack Barakat?" I asked softly.

     "Since the car hit the wall from the passenger's side, Jack sustained very minor injuries that are being treated right now. He's bruised up and will likely be sore for the next few days," but nothing life-threatening," nurse Melanie said. "He can be released tonight."

     I glanced over at Jennifer. She had an unreadable expression on her face. I had a feeling we were thinking the same thing--Jack took it upon himself to drive drunk.

     "Go see Josh," she said quietly. "I need to sit down and think for a bit."

     "I'll stay with her," said Natalie. I nodded and nurse Melanie led me to Josh's room.

     A rhythmic beeping filled the air as I entered Josh's room. I took in his appearance. He had a stapled gash along the side of his head, as well as some bruises along the right side of his face. His right arm was in a cast, covering the beautiful tattoo of his.

     The fear subsided. A wave of sadness and relief consumed me instead. I hated seeing him like this, but was so thankful he was at least alive.

     "If you need anything just press that button," nurse Melanie said, gesturing towards a button on Josh's bed as she walked out.

     "Oh Josh," I cried as the tears began to slip down my cheeks once more, "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish I had gone so this wouldn't have happened."

     I pulled a chair that was nearby and put it as close to his bed as possible. My hand slipped through the plastic railing and I held his hand lightly, afraid of hurting him.

     "I love you," I whispered. "I love you so much. I know it hasn't been long but god, I just can't help myself. I haven't told you yet, but every day I wake up praying to the stars above that you love me back. I thought otherwise, but I didn't know what love was until I met you."

     Josh's hand twitched in my own, but otherwise he did nothing. I continued to cry silently and pulled a few strands of hair from his face.

     I sat there for a while, watching him sleep. Nurse Melanie walked into the room.

     "Your friend Jack is about to be released. You should go home and get some sleep, you look exhausted," she said kindly.

     I wanted to argue, but she was right. It was well past six in the morning and I was incredibly tired.

     "You're right. We'll wait for Jack to get released and take him home," I answered.

     I got up and walked to the waiting room. Natalie was curled into a ball in one of the chairs, sound asleep. Jennifer was staring blankly at the television playing a random kid's cartoon.

     "Are you okay?" I asked tentatively.

     "I'm not sure," she sighed, "how's Josh?"

     "He's asleep but he's okay. Banged and bruised up, and he has a gash on the side of his head," I explained with a sad smile.

     "I'm sorry," she whispered.

     "Don't be sorry," I said, pulling her in for a hug.

     The door opened once more and Jack walked out. His face was bruised and he was holding an ice pack to his head. Otherwise, he seemed fine. He stopped short when he saw us.

     "Hi," he said uncertainly.

     I glanced over at Jennifer, whose expression slipped back into the unreadable one from earlier.

     "Hi."

"Let me explain," he began, but Jennifer shook her head.

"Not now. You need some rest," she said quietly.

Her expression faltered for a moment and I caught a glimpse of what she was trying so hard to hide--anger. She was furious with him. He seemed to pick up on that and didn't dare argue with her.

"Natalie, let's go," I said, nudging my sleeping cousin softly.

She got up with a yawn and stretched her arms. When she saw Jack, she smiled.

"At least he's okay," she said.

"For now," I whispered.

"I'll call a cab," Jack said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Don't be ridiculous," Jennifer snapped.

He raised his hands up defensively. "Okay, I won't."

"Let's just all go back to my place so we can visit Josh later," I suggested sleepily.

Jennifer nodded and grabbed Jack's arm before he could protest. We walked to Natalie's car and drove to my apartment. The entire ride there was completely silent.

Once we got to my place, I immediately separated Jennifer and Jack so she wouldn't kill him while I was asleep.

"Natalie and Jack can sleep in the living room. Sorry," I apologized to my cousin, who simply shrugged.

"Just give me the good pillow," she said.

I tossed them both some pillows and blankets and dragged Jennifer to my room.

"Don't kill him," I whispered harshly.

"I'm not going to...yet," she sighed.

We both plopped onto my bed. My tired body relished in the comfort of my sheets, and I instantly dozed off into an uneasy sleep with dreams filled with the sounds of crashes and screams.