Ink

Dreams

     "You're not good enough for him," she spat at me, her bright blue eyes boring into mine. She was an almost perfect mirror image of myself, with the exception of having bright blue eyes and long blonde hair.

     "I-that's not true," I stammered, my heart beginning to race.

     "I mean, look at you, and look at him! He can do much better than the likes of you," she replied venomously.

     "Stop it," I whispered, tears threatening to spill.

     "What could he possibly see in you?" she said, walking up to me and running a hand through my hair. I flinched at her touch, and she cackled. A tear dripped onto my cheek.

     "He...he likes me. Doesn't he?" I whispered, my voice cracking.

     "If he does, I don't see why. You're not good enough for him," she whispered again, yanking on the hair in her hand.

     I woke up with a gasp and jolted upright. My heart was still thudding, and very real tears were pouring down my face. I grabbed my pillow and buried my face in it, beginning to sob loudly.

     "It was just a dream," I tried to assure myself to no avail.

     My anxiety finally won out with my insecurities and left me a mess. Josh is a very good looking guy, and I'm very well aware of the fact that he could do miles better than me. What makes me so special? Did the universe make a mistake?

     I grabbed my phone and called Josh, still crying hard.

     "Hello?" he answered sleepily.

     "Josh I'm not good enough for you I'm so sorry I don't deserve to have you if you leave me I'll understand," I babbled at rapid speed.

     "Sam, what? Slow down. What's wrong?" he asked, concern laced in his voice.

     "She told me I wasn't good enough for you," I choked out.

     "Who?"

     "The voice in my head. She said it in a dream. It felt so real, Josh," I whispered.

     I was startled by a knock at my door. I slowly got up and opened it up to see Josh. He quickly wrapped me in a hug.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

"The voice in my head," I cried.

     "What did it say?"

     "That I'm not good enough for you. I mean, look at me and look at you. It's true and you know it is," I cried, burying my face in his shoulder.

     Josh pulled me close and sighed.

     "Sam, I think you are a beautiful girl and you need to stop thinking otherwise. I don't want anyone except you, and I don't want you to forget that," he said softly, rubbing small circles into my back.

     We just stood there for a moment, his arms wrapped around me as my sobs lessened to sniffles.

     "I'm sorry," I whispered.

     "Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry for that. I know your anxiety gets pretty bad. I'm glad I was home," he replied, pecking me on the cheek.

"Me too."

Josh grabbed my hand and led me to my room.

"Lie down on your stomach," he muttered.

I complied, unsure of what he was going to do. I tensed when he lifted my shirt, which made him laugh.

"I'm just going to give you a massage," he chuckled.

"Oh...okay," I said shyly, cheeks flushing.

He grabbed some lotion off my nightstand and squirted some onto his hands. His rough drummer hands met the soft skin on my back, and I immediately relaxed.

"You're so tense," he noted.

"That doesn't surprise me," I shrugged.

Josh continued to massage my back, hitting a spot that made me involuntarily sigh in pleasure. He froze and looked at me with wide eyes. I looked back at him with a smirk.

"Sorry," I giggled.

He looked at me for a second before gently pushing me so I was lying on my back. He cocked his head and looked at me.

"Come here," I said impatiently, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.

The kiss got long and heated, leaving us both breathing heavily. My fingers were digging into his back, trying to pull him as close to me as humanly possible. His hands traced the top of my pajamas bottoms, silently asking for permission. I nodded.

     "Wait, are you sure about this?" he asked me quietly, his lustful eyes boring into mine to make absolutely sure I was okay with this.

     "Yes," I breathed.

     "I love you," he said, kissing and sucking on the side of my neck lightly.

     "I love you too, Josh. So, so much."

So sorry about the delay. Life has been a handful lately.