One Hope {A Lachlan Fanfic}

Thirty Four

Jay and I have been dating for a couple days, and it feels like the guilt of not telling anyone is eating me alive.

I look up from my phone as Lachlan enters the room, slightly noticeable bags under his eyes.

"Hey." I say, but he just blandly nods in my direction. "You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, fine." He whispers, almost as if to reassure himself.

"Lachlan, what's wrong? You're not okay." I reply, putting a hand on his arm as he uses his other to grab a bowl.

I slightly gasp to myself as I feel it.

The sparks.

The connection between us.

And it seems Lachlan notices it too. He pauses, and we just stand there, neither of us willing to move. And then Lachlan envelopes me in a hug. I relax against his chest as he holds me tightly.

"Lachlan? What's bothering you?" I try again, looking into his electric blue eyes.

There's a pause. "You wouldn't get it."

I suddenly let go of him and immediately regret it. "Lachlan, we are both at fault for keeping secrets, but I am done for sure. I don't care if you don't tell me what you've been hiding, but I feel like I need to tell you everything."

He looks at me, clearly surprised. "Really?" He asks, and I nod. "Alright." I grab his hand, blushing to myself.

It takes me a moment to find the words. "Lachlan... There's something you should really know." I say.

"What?" He asks, and I take a deep breath, unsure as to how he will react.

"I-I'm dating Jay." I say, glancing at his eyes which holds so many emotions that I can't figure out. He immediately looks away.

"T-that's great." He says, but I notice the pain behind those words.

Don't tell me...?

"That's really great. I'm happy for you, Cait." He finally says, ruffling up my hair.

"Thanks, Lachlan." I hug him, wrapping my arms around his chest. "Now that the hard one is out of the way, I'll just say the really hard one."

"And that is...?" He leads on.

This time it takes all of my courage to speak. "The reason why I'm with Jay is because he cuts. He's suicidal." I slowly respond.

And that's enough words for him to hear. As soon as he hears those words, his eyes slightly widen and his previous attitude changes into shock and worry.

"Seriously?" He whispers, and I nod, starting to cry. "You're way too nice for this world." He whispers, barely audible.

"It's all because of Allie. As much as I love her, she had no reason to leave. Her and Jay were the perfect couple and now because she left she ruined Jay... And I need to figure out a way to bring them back." I quickly say as I let out all the tears that I've been holding.

Immediately, I am enveloped in a hug. I cry against his warm chest as I tell him.

"My mother died and my father left me, leaving me to fend for myself. My brother also left for no reason. And I fell into a deep depression and I fell into it again after you introduced me to Cassidy. And I attempted suicide twice." I ramble off against his chest, his heartbeat the only thing keeping me stable right now.

He's silent as I tell him everything, and starts to slowly rock me back and forth. After a few minutes of processing everything I said, Lachlan presses his lips to the top of my head, sending a tingling feeling throughout my body.

"I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this all on your own. I wish I would've known sooner."

"What good would that have done, Lachlan?" I complain, trying to wiggle out of his grasp.

"It would have made this guilty feeling go away. Cait, I hate how distant we've got, and now that you're telling me all this it reminds me how much of an asshole I was to you." He says, and I just stand there as it is his turn to ramble off. "I'll tell you my biggest secret; I was afraid of you leaving me so I tried to make you leave sooner before I became... Too attached to you."

My eyes widen in surprise as I start to piece the pieces together. "So... You only dated Cassidy because you wanted me to leave you?" I ask and he nods. I clench my right fist and suddenly slap his face, leaving a bright red mark and his head swivels to the side. And then I hug him tightly, my body pressed against his. "Don't ever fucking do that again, you hear me?"

"Yeah." He replies, tightly hugging me back as if he is afraid I'll leave.

"Because I know for sure that I will never leave you." I whisper.

If only I would've listened to those words.