One Hope {A Lachlan Fanfic}

Thirty Seven

It's been officially a month tomorrow since Jay and I started dating. However, we've only gone on a couple dates; the one at the arcade, another at a local fair and another walking near the famous Opera House. And of course the couple days we hung out at his place and watched a movie or two.

But we have only kissed twice. One on that fateful time at the pier and the other on our first real date. That's it.

Even with all my bad relationships in the past, I know for sure that you should kiss more that two times. Although I'm kind of relieved.

I hold on to my aching heart as all it wants is Lachlan.

But it can't.

I have Jay, and I need to take care of him before he does something stupid.

"You're dressed up nice." Lachlan's all too familiar voice says from my doorway.

"Yeah?" It comes out more of a question instead of a statement, barely audible.

I look at myself in the mirror; a cute, short but not too revealing black skirt rests on my hips, along with a white v-neck shirt on my upper body, the sleeves down to my elbows. My chocolate brown hair falls around my face in bouncy curls and light makeup, eyeliner and a silver eyeshadow highlights my face.

"Thanks, Lachlan. It's Jay and I's one month together." I respond, trying hard to make my voice positive but to no avail.

Why? Why can't I do this one thing? I'm supposed to be an expert in saving lives but I can't save Jay or myself.

"What time are you leaving?" He asks as I brush some stray bangs from my face and turn to look at him, dressed in his usual tight shirt and jeans. Why does he have to look so hot?

"An hour or two. He said he wanted me to come over and show me something before we left for somewhere." I respond, suddenly remembering my earrings. I turn back to my dresser and grab some basic silver studs and put them on.

"Alright." He says, slowly retreating from the doorframe.

"Wait, where are you going?" I ask him, suddenly starting to feel uneasy.

"To record." He responds, pausing.

I suddenly start to feel extremely uneasy. What is it? What's happened?

My eyes immediately turn to my phone as it vibrates, allowing me to register that it is a text message.

"You gonna answer that or look at it all day?" Lachlan asks, much to my shock. He's still here?

I shakily pick it up, register the first sentence, and immediately drop my phone, eyes wide and shaking in fear. I quickly pick it up and bolt past Lachlan, my whole body shaking and my heart pounding as I scream his name, tears falling down my face as I run towards his house, not even noticing the trailing footsteps behind me.

"JAAAAYYYY!!"
~
Caitlin, I'm sorry. I know everything. I know that you never really liked me like you like Lachlan. You never looked at me the way you look at him and I understand. Who would want to date me? Allie for sure didn't.

I will admit, I used you. I had no romantic feelings towards you; I was just hoping you could get the aching feeling of being alone out of my heart. And it worked, for a little while.

I take my feelings back. I guess I do love you, but in a brotherly way. The reason why I never kissed you anymore was because we both knew neither of us wanted it.

But this feeling will never go away. I'm sorry, Caitlin. I don't deserve to be on this planet anymore.

I want you to be happy, Caitlin. I want you and Lachlan to get together already, I want you to get your job back, I want you to grow up into somebody that even your terrible father would recognize and be proud of. I want you to be you and don't let my death affect you.

Please, tell Allie that after all this time I love her, and remember that I love you too.

P.S. I made some soup for you in the kitchen, along with the recipe that I never shared with anyone. Keep it safe. :P

-Jay
~
I slam his door open and run up the stairs to his room. I grab his door handle and, after a moments' hesitation, fling open the door to reveal a sight that I never wanted to see.

"J-J-Ja-ay." I mutter, putting both hands over my mouth in shock as tears fall down my face.

His body lies limp, dangling from the ceiling with a noose tied around his neck. I slowly walk towards him, trembling. I grab his wrist, hoping to feel his pulse.

My eyes widen even more.

No...

I grab his desk chair and carefully untie the rope around his neck, then set him down on the ground, feeling his neck just to make sure.

And I get the same result.

No pulse.

"No! Jay! Godammit! You can't be dead!" I scream, pounding his chest in anger and grief.

My medical instincts turn on and I look to his face. I kneel over his body and put my left hand over my right, intertwining the fingers. I then push down on his chest slowly, watching as it rises and falls.

And then I do what I've been taught; what I've seen Jay and Allie do, and even what I've done to save lives.

I start CPR. After three reps I start to get frantic as he still hasn't awoken.

I can't accept it...

After five, I pull away, being blinded by my own tears. I collapse on his chest, unable to accept the face that he's gone. I crumble up his shirt in my palms as giant sobs rack my body.

A few minutes pass, and someone lightly taps my shoulder. I turn to face them. "L-Lachlan?" I whisper as he shushes me and pulls me into his chest. Multiple people enter the room wearing the all too familiar paramedic uniform.

"I'm here." He whispers into my hair, a hand on the back of my head. He says nothing else but hugs me tightly, shielding me from Jay's body. I hug him extremely tightly, my head rested in the crook of his neck and my eyes closed tightly shut as I cry about the loss of a close friend.

"J-Jay... He had no reason to die." I choke out once I hear the sound of retreating footsteps, meaning that they took Jay. "Dammit." I cry out, letting go of him and attempting to wipe my tears away.

Lachlan stops me by wiping them away, causing me to immediately cease my mourning.  After a minute or two, he speaks. "Jake-well.. Jake was a good man. But it was his decision to go." He says, the reality of his response slapping me in the face. I look at the rope that ended Jay's life, tossed on the other side of the room.

It's what you wanted, right Jay?
You better be happy, then.

"Ready to go?" Lachlan asks after a little while, and I tiredly nod, mentally and physically drained. I try to stand up, a little wobbly. "I got you." Lachlan says, and helps me climb onto his back.

Where did he even come from? Did he follow me here?

"Thanks." I whisper, shaking the thoughts away as I wrap my hands around his neck and rest my head on my arm, against his neck.

"Comfy?" He asks, and I nod.

Remembering that he can't see me, I say, "yeah."

"Alright." He says, walking out the door. I hold onto him tightly as i start to close my eyes, and before I know it I'm out.