as far as friends go

chapter 4

Once the clock struck 5:30, Rachel knew that the two hours of sleep on Finn's couch was all she was going to get. Sitting up, she rubbed her exhausted eyes and walked over to the kitchen. Finding a notepad and a pen, Rachel wanted to leave Quinn a note. She didn't want to just get up and leave, leaving Quinn worried in the morning.

_"Q, I'm really sorry for you having to find out that I left like this, but I just really want to go home and take a hot bath.. I promise that we will have our own sleepover soon, but for now I just want to be alone. Please understand. I really appreciate what you did for me tonight and I can't think of a better friend who would've done the same. I love you, Quinny bear.. I hope you have a great morning. Talk to you later. -Rachel_
_P.s, don't be mad. Sorry."_

Placing the note on the counter, Rachel grabbed her things and walked out of the door. Once Rachel got into a cab, she placed her head in her hands and tried to keep her sobs under a small tone, avoiding eye contact with the taxi driver. When she arrived in the front of her building, she ran up the stairs to her apartment, and once she got inside, she locked the door and slumped down on her couch.

After taking a hot shower and having two cups of coffee, Rachel was ready for a much needed sleep in her bed. So, once she hit her soft pillows, she fell into a very deep slumber.

By the time she felt it was time for her to get up, it was already 2:10 pm. Seeing the day totally useless, Rachel walked into her living room, snuggled under a blanket and spent the day watching movies. Once she got through her third movie, she decided that she would order in. She just hoped they would make deliveries in this frosty and wet weather. Calling the local pizza parlor, she placed in her order and waited patiently, popping in another movie.

Throwing herself into the movie, Rachel was glad that she did. She didn't want to think about Finn or anything that happened last night.

She honestly laughed at the hopeful girl she was yesterday afternoon. She couldn't believe she was so naïve to believe that a guy like Finn Hudson could love her back. She was just so shocked. She still didn't know who was at that bar last night, because he definitely wasn't her best friend that she knew and loved with all her heart. That person at the club last night was a total stranger to her and she hoped she would never have to come face to face with him. Even if it met cutting all contact from Finn.

She knew that she probably did overstep her boundaries a little last night, by calling the girl a slut and telling her to stay away from Finn even though it wasn't her place to tell her to, but she had always been protective of Finn, and sometimes it had nothing to do with the fact that she was in love with him. But maybe last night it kind of did. Rachel had to admit that she was a bit jealous of the girl, but that wasn't the whole reason she went off on her. Rachel knew that that girl was not what Finn needed in his life. Rachel could've sworn she looked like she rolled with the wrong crowd or was hung up on the wrong kind of things, like drugs and too much alcohol. Rachel was just honestly trying to protect Finn. She didn't want to be his mother figure, or boss him around, but she could understand if he thought of it being that way. She just wanted to stick to their deal they had made in high school. She would never be able to live with herself if Finn got hurt, physically or emotionally.

But the way Finn acted towards her. That was the most surprising revelation to her yet. It's like he just threw her away all at once. Like she was some sort of unwanted baggage to her for all of these years and he was waiting for the perfect moment to get rid of their friendship like he did last night. Rachel knew that she maybe did say a little too much, But Finn.. He was over reacting.. The things he said to her, the way he made her feel so embarrassed in front of that girl.. The way he looked at her while he said those things to her face.. The way he looked at her when tears were falling from her face.. The way he showed no remorse.. What was his problem?