as far as friends go

chapter 30

3 years later

Once the light ahead turned green, the gas pedal was pressed down and the car was set into motion. The bright orange glow from the setting sun was lighting up the atmosphere around and the leaves on the road were flying past as the wind from the car hit them. However present these surroundings were to her at this time, none of them could get to the whirlwind that was in her mind. None of these details entered her overcrowded mind; not even once. Her mind was in a world of its own and was screaming at her as if she weren't listening. If anything, she felt like she was listening too closely.

A certain silence filled the inside of her car. It wasn't a bad type of silence. It was comfortable and welcoming. The silence was like an aid to her clear thought and she really needed it. She appreciated this quietness.

The small clock on the radio read 5:38 pm and she knew that if she'd estimate correctly, she'd be home for at least 5:45. She was glad that she'd finally be able to return to her bed and her warm house, but, she wanted to spend more time in here. She knew that she was being silly, it was just that this atmosphere allowed her to clearly process everything and face it as she wanted. She desired just a couple of minutes to process this sentimental moment to herself; to feel the absolute joy in knowing that her life was about to change.

Her eyes remained forward and her hands stayed on the leather steering wheel with a tight grip that she didn't realize had until now. The old yellow t-shirt and black sweat pants that she wore was now starting to become soaked as her tears coated it; one after the other. She had attempted to wipe them away at first, but then her mind became louder and she couldn't concentrate on the road. So now, she was in her own little rain storm as she let them fall. She just secretly hoped that her face wasn't as flushed as it was from all the coughing that she had been previously doing.

Once she got closer to the point where she had to turn to enter into her driveway, she glanced at the clock and proved her time estimate somewhat accurate. The house was absolutely hard to miss. In fact, she could see it from all the way down the highway. It had been even easier to spot since it had been renovated 2 years ago. She hated to brag about it to all of their friends in town, but it wasn't like no one noticed their big beautiful home. Finn and Rachel received compliments from neighbors, friends, and acquaintances from town. And, all of those compliments made her feel like the proud home owner that she was. She'd never be able to thank her best friend enough for buying it for her wedding present.

It was 5:47 once she put her car into park and took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She took a few more minutes to relish in this alone time and happiness that she had before she'd have to share it. She also took that time to appreciate the last moments she'd have of this silence that acted as her backbone to thinking for the past 20 minutes that she had spent driving home. In the process, she pulled down the car mirror and made a quick examination. She laughed to herself when her face presented itself to her, bright as a tomato. Flushed, she absolutely was; not even to the best of her abilities in the acting department was ever going to hide the fact that she had been crying. Closing the mirror above her head, she retrieved a tissue from the glove compartment and did the best she could to wipe away the remaining wetness present on her eyes, cheeks, and neck. Her seatbelt then became unbuckled, the door opened, and her aching legs were now holding all of her weight as she stepped on the ground. She was finally ready to take the steps to the conversation that she'd always dreamed of having with her husband. She just hoped that he would feel the same way.

A wave of relief hit Rachel as she opened the front door and felt the rush of warm air. As she stepped in and placed her keys in the bowl, she heard the faint sound of a television pause and footsteps heading in her direction. Before she could get any further after closing the door, she was face-to-face with Finn. The happiness that was painted on his face to see her instantly replaced itself with concern when he saw her face.