one shots ❯ joshler

safety.

so sorry for my lack of presence. been trying to recover from that storm.

don't really know how to sum this one shot up, but i'm super content with it, so i hope you will be, too.

sorta unedited, sorta edited

enjoy.

♡

"I can't do it." Tyler sighed, exhausted.

Joshua's fork stopped halfway to his mouth before he dropped it, preparing himself for what was to come. "How-how long have you been feeling this way?" His eyes stinging, causing them to gloss over.

"Oh no, oh Joshy, not that." Tyler chuckled. "I love you. M'not breaking up with you. I would never." Joshua let out a sigh of relief, then tilted his head, confused as to why Tyler would say such a thing. "I'm talking about that big interview we have coming up. I don't feel like doing it."

"Oh, alright. Why, though?" Joshua picked up his fork again, stuffing the piece of chicken in his mouth.

Tyler rubbed his eyes, "I'm just tired." He was tired, just not physically.

"We'll get to bed early, then. You'll feel much better in the morning. Then, we can see if you're still up for it, yeah?" Joshua suggested.

"No, Joshua, I'm tired of everything. That's what I can't do anymore." Tyler's voice became low, Joshua knew he was serious about this. "It's interview after interview of uncomfortable questions, not being able to interact with you in any way and always acting about everything. I'm just exhausted and tired of it. I don't want to act anymore." Tyler sniffled, struggling to take a deep breath.

The tiredness had really gotten to him this time. Everything was just too overwhelming. A wave of feeling lost washed over him as he set his elbows down on the table, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to shove the tears which were right on the brink of spilling over, back in. He couldn't, though, just as he couldn't hold back the heartbreaking sob that wracked his body.

Tyler could hear Joshua drag his chair next to his before he pulled Tyler into his lap, holding Tyler in his arms. Joshua shushed quietly in his ear, running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm s-sorry. I don't know what's come over me, J-Joshy. I just, I just hate all the lying and all the secrets we have to keep. I-I don't know if I can hold myself together f-for tomorrow. I'm s-so sick of the acting."

"Hey, hey." Joshua pulled him back a little. "Look at me, Angel, please?" Tyler wiped at his eyes with a sweater-pawed hand. Joshua thought he was beautiful, he always thought he was beautiful, even when he was crying.

"I'm sick of it too, Ty. I really am. It, It piles so much stress on the both of us, I know that. It's exhausting, and I hate seeing how hard this is put on you. We'll stay home tomorrow. I promise. No acting, no lying, no watching every move. Just us. You and me."

Tyler pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. "I love you." He whispered. "I love you, too. So much." Joshua said, placing a kiss on his mouth. He felt tired as well. If only Tyler had told him sooner, he would've done everything possible to make it better.