one shots ❯ joshler

sexuality.

i am so sorry for not posting a new one shot in forever. i'm moving this weekend and there has been stress on top of stress on top of stress.

i'd like to thank you all for getting this story to 2k reads. i'm mind blown, really. i work really hard on these and this book in general and i appreciate every one of you who's read this story, voted, and commented on each chapter. i love you immensely.

this one shot is kinda different. but i hope you like it either way.

enjoy.

♡

Tyler's sexuality was a concept that didn't come easily to him. As the angel he is, he never put much thought into it. He felt how he felt. But it didn't matter, he did what he was told to do. He was a good little soldier who didn't let himself indulge in human thoughts like that.

Then he met Joshua. That was when he started to rebel. He knew he was attracted to women. He had had sex with a woman and found women appealing. Though, he also knew he was attracted to men. And Joshua was solid proof of that. In fact he had always found Joshua Dun beautiful, from the day he met him.

But there was more to it than that. Tyler was attracted to people in general. Not in the way that he found everyone he met attractive, but in the way that he didn't really acknowledge gender when considering his attraction to a person. To him, it was an irrelevant part of a person's appeal.

At first, he had thought he was bisexual. The way Joshua had explained it when he came out to Tyler kind of explained how he felt, and for a while, he accepted that. He came out to Joshua, and then Mark, the only two people he truly cared about. But the more he thought about it, the more his sexuality seemed to be something more.

He began looking into it when he got the chance. He researched sexualities he hadn't even heard of before, reading definitions he had found on Google. Then he came across something that made sense to him. A definition that explained what he felt for people.

Pansexual.

The word was foreign on Tyler's tongue as he tried it out for the first time while looking at himself in the mirror. It was a sort of name-face association he was trying to build for his own self acceptance.

Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.

He mulled over the definition in his head, the words completely making sense for him. It was like the last piece of a confusing puzzle was finally in place. So he told the person who needed to know the most.

"Joshua," the name rang out in the darkness as it left Tyler's lips. There was a small pause, and at first Tyler thought Joshua was asleep. He was ready to accept that he'd tried and failed and call it a night when Joshua shifted a little and responded.

"Yeah?" Joshua's voice was hung with sleep as he questioned Tyler, making him unreasonably anxious. Every logical part of his mind told him it would be fine, but it was times like this that he let irrationality fill him with fear.

"Do you remember when I told you I thought I was bisexual, like you?" His voice was small but clear in the confines of the room, the small space holding their secrets and tucking them discreetly away in the dark.

"Yeah, I remember," the statement came out in a questioning tone, asking Tyler what was wrong without actually saying the words. "I think I was wrong," Tyler paused, breathing in and trying to repress the paranoia that danced in the back of his mind.

"I think I'm pansexual," Tyler felt flooded with emotions. It was like admitting the words made it official, like he was signing a contract and sealing his fate. People would either accept it, or push him away, and he had to deal with the consequences no matter what they may be.

"Okay," the word came out gentle and accepting, letting Tyler know it was going to be okay. Tyler let out a sigh of relief. The one word response may not seem like an open-armed embrace, but it was. In typical Joshua fashion, he was explaining all his support for Tyler without actually saying it. Tyler had imagined so many different kinds of rejection in his head, but instead he was met with complete and utter support. The feeling in his chest was something he couldn't explain, all Tyler knew was that he was overwhelmed with happiness.

"You're okay with that?" A tone of disbelief was laced in Tyler's voice, making Joshua bring his hand up to Tyler's cheek in the dark.

"Of course, Tyler. I will always support you, okay? Your sexuality doesn't define you. It makes you no better or worse than you were. I refuse to let something as petty as who you love define what I think about you or anyone else, do you understand that?" The speech came soft and breathy, but the sincerity behind it filled Tyler with a feeling of absolute safety. He paused and let himself take in that feeling, bottling it up for times when he felt scared.

"I love you." Tyler let the familiar phrase roll off of his tongue in response, but it somehow felt like it came up short. The feeling Joshua's acceptance had brought to him was too much to try to express in those three simple words, so when Joshua easily responded with an I love you back, Tyler went on. "I love you." The words were more forceful this time, every ounce of Tyler's emotion pouring out into the phrase. "You're so perfect and understanding of me in every way. You're kind, even when you think you're not. You're selfless. You're everything I could have ever asked for in a person. And I am so lucky to have you." Joshua paused slightly at the words, but was soon pressing a chaste kiss on Tyler's lips. It was a kiss that Tyler could feel Joshua grinning into, and he loved that.

"You're not too shabby yourself, Babe." Joshua light-heartedly tossed back, but Tyler could hear the fondness in Joshua's voice. He chuckled and snuggled in closer to Joshua, breathing in his scent.

"Wow, thanks." Tyler could practically feel Joshua grinning through the darkness, and his heart melted at the sound of the soft giggle Joshua let out.

"Anytime, Ty." The two let their content hearts mingle as they intertwined their limbs as much as possible. Their heartbeats were seemingly in time with one another and Tyler let the feeling of it lull him to sleep.

As he edged the brink of sleep, he felt a familiar pair of lips on his forehead and heard soft, groggy words from Joshua.

"I love you, too." He slightly mumbled and settled in to join Tyler in the relief of sleep.

did u like this cause i hope so

ps depending on how i'm feeling, and if i'm not busy packing my house away into a moving truck, i'll possibly post another one shot.

don't forget 2 vote nd voice ur opinions in da comment section. =)