You Chose Mine

Chapter 27

"I feel so numb, staring at the shower wall..." lyrics played as I stared forward with the lights on.

It's been two days and I haven't done much else besides shower and think since then. I haven't even checked my phone but I know I have messages, I know I have notifications and I know I have missed calls. I just couldn't be bothered with anything right now.

"Shannon, I'm leaving you a snack outside your door..." I heard Derek call out.

I continued to look forward; it was beginning to hurt when I blink due to the lack of sleep and the constant light. Derek's voice was the first one I've heard all day; I glanced at the time on my laptop that continued to play music '2:30'.

"Shannon?" I heard him once more as my door opened.

"Thank you" I finally spoke.

The door closed once more. He knew I needed space at this point, but the truth is I'm too weak to tell anyone that all I want is to be held.

All I want right now is Luke.

I want his gentle touch, I want his voice in my ear telling me that 'everything will get better', I want his warm heart beat against my back, and I want his eyes staring into mine no matter how bloody shot mine may look. I carefully decided to unwrapped myself from my covers, letting the cool hit my skin for the first time in hours. I finally let my skin touch the carpet and slowly made my way over to my door, I opened it to see an apple fruit box, an apple and a bowl of chips.

"Derek?" I called out.

Almost instantly he was standing in front of me with a relived look on his face, "You're up" he smiled I nodded.

"C-can you call Luke?" I asked.

A bigger smile spread across his face, "Just him?" I nodded.

"I think his all I can take right now" I told him honestly.

He nodded complying with my wish before walking away with his phone connected to his ear.

"Hey Luke" I heard his chirpy voice say moments later. 

"She wants to see you"

"Yeah, yeah bring the flowers over"

I felt a slight smile on my face. "He brought me flowers..." I whispered to myself.

His perfect.

Suddenly I remembered when I brought flowers to aunty the first day I got to see her in the hospital, pink roses just like the bouquet of flowers Luke snapchatted to me. The smile wiped off my face, reminding me that she was gone.

"I'm gonna have a quick shower" I called out weakly to Derek.

"Okay!" he called back.

Derek's been staying with me ever since we went to the hospital. His like my bodyguard, my assistant and my best friend rolled into one and I've never been so grateful to have him in my life.

*

I swiped my freshly blow dried hair over my shoulder.

Fresh clothes felt nice against my skin, it's the only sense of normalcy I have had in a while, even though I have a shower 9 hours later than usual. I figured I should look semi-normal for Luke, but no amount of makeup would help the bags under my eyes at this point. I crawled back into the covers as a new song played from my laptop, "Last night I heard my own heart beating, sounded like footsteps on my stairs" Yet another tear slid down my face. I'm use to the feeling of tears now, and I never thought I would be.