You Chose Mine

Chapter 39

'Hi Shannon, you'll watch this back later and realise how bad I actually look' I smiled at the sound of his voice.

I miss his voice. He shot the camera smile before I said something which made him turn down to me. I miss the way his blue eyes shined. I watched as his hand caressed my cheek while smiling down at me before calling me 'babe'.

I'm sitting on my bedroom floor torturing myself with videos and photos of Luke I have.

His hand got closer to the camera covering the lens when the view suddenly turned into a lovely view of my ceiling.

I remember that day. It was a happy day.

I put my phone down and pushed it away. I'm just hurting myself.

I need something.

I need to talk to someone.

I picked up my phone and found a contact I know will answer.

The rings felt longer than normal but as soon as I heard their voice I felt a bit of weight lift off me.

"Hey" I responded.

"Are you busy?"

*

"So..." Ashton began.

"Yep..." I attempted to make conversation.

My eyes wandered around my room as it seemed become lose character with every passing day. The only thing that's really left is my bed frame and bedside tables.

"Are you really doing this? Moving?" Ashton asked from beside me.

I shrugged, "Are you guys really going to London?" I retorted.

He gave me a look before I rested my head on the wall behind me and apologised. I know it's part of their job to leave, but I find it difficult to answer when people ask why I'm moving.

"It's not like it's forever" I told him.

"It might as well be" he moan.

Ashton's here to help me move considering Luke isn't talking to me right now. I don't know where we are at this point, but I still love him. I love him more than anyone could ever know.

"How's is he?" I asked.

"Who?" Ashton asked. I looked to him before he stifled a laugh "Oh, that 'he'". I played with the hem of my shirt as I waited for the answer. "He is..." Ashton paused "Very out of it lately" he said.

"How?" I asked.

Ashton began to explain how all week in rehearsal Luke would stop mid song, get lost in just playing his guitar, nearly forgetting that his rehearsing and he didn't even show up yesterday. I caused this. Luke was the first to know about my decision and when I told him... the look in his eyes was crushing. I don't think I've ever heard him that silent before.

"I feel like the kid being tossed between mum and dad" Ashton said.

"What?" I laughed.

"You know... I'm hearing both sides of the situation, I can see how much it's hurting both of you but I don't know enough to do anything but listen" he explained.

I quickly apologised for dragging him into this. Derek's taken over my position at the shop and sadly, I don't see him unless it's for work and plans for when I come back. As for Kennedy, as far as I know she doesn't even acknowledge my existence so I wouldn't even bother asking for her advice. Not that she would give it to me anyways. Michael and Calum know about what's happening, but they're too loyal to Luke to put me before him and I don't mind. Bros before Hoes, I get it. I don't expect them to put me before him, I would do that same for Kennedy if I still had her as a friend. I have done that for Kennedy. Ashton on the other hand, is just too nice. He's most definitely not putting me first but when I talk he listens and I feel like I need that. I appreciate the simple fact that his still talking to me.