You Chose Mine

Chapter 38

*Luke's P.O.V*

I heard feet shuffle across the floor when the door opened to see a smile spread across her face. "Hi" she greeted, I lent down when her hand rose causing me to stop.

"What's wrong?" I asked, she moved closer to me and closed he door behind her.

"My mum's here" she whispered.

"I thought you talked to her?" I asked confused, she sent me a message saying that she had talked to her mum and she was ready to talk about London.

"I did..." she said, "I also talked to my dad"

I was stunned.

She hasn't talked to him in 3 years. That explains the tear stains on her cheeks, her puffy eyes, her hushed tones. "That's..." I attempted searching for another emotion in her eyes to get a sense of how the conversation went, but the small smile on her face told me everything I needed to know. "That's amazing!" I wrapped my arms around her. "How is he?" I asked before pulling back. A bigger smile spread across her face.

"He's so happy" she said with water on the rims of her eyes.

I sighed with relief. She looks happy, she looks happy that his happy. Shannon happy these days seems rare, not just normal happy but genuine happiness. You know the difference once you see it.

"I'm so happy" I smiled. I took my finger and ran across the frame of her face, slowly tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I'm so happy" I whispered.

I lent down and pressed my lips gently against hers. With an almost instant response I felt at peace. The only way I can describe how I feel when I'm with her is, happy. Pure happiness. When I see her, get a message from here, a phone call, anything. I'm just happy.

"Luke..." she said as she pulled away. "Luke, I can't go to London with you" she whispered.

"Wha- Why not?" I asked confused once again.

"My mum..." she said without eye contact, "You're nearly 18. She isn't even your guardian!" I exclaimed.

"Luke, she's my mother!" she said.

"No! She's another person keeping you from me!" I watched as Shannon flinched back slightly. I heard my voice raise to a frightening level.

"Luke..." Shannon began. "Can't you see this is all we do? This is all that happens?" she asked. "We keep falling and falling but people put nets out to keep us from each other" she said.

"What?" I asked more confused than ever.

"I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone" she confessed. For once, I was scared of the truth in her eyes. "But, I've lost two people. Two people I care so deeply for that I was risking hurting myself emotionally and physically" I noticed as tears threatened to pour from her eyes as I held back mine. I know what this feels like, and I hope I'm wrong.

"I knew what I was getting myself into when I kept my aunt on life support, but it was that little inkling of hope that kept me holding on. I knew what kind of girl, what kind of friend Kennedy is but I held her close because there was another inkling of hope that made me think she would be a true, genuine friend to me" a tear flowed down her already stained cheek.

"I'm worried that there isn't anymore hope left" she mumbled.

"Than why have you been holding on so tight?" I asked. Her watery eyes looked into mine. "I love you so much. This happens every time something gets tough. Another day, another obstacle." I told her.

"All I've known is hiding." she said.

"And all I've wanted to know is you" I said.

Silence played between us like a heart breaking song. She's all I want, she's all I've been thinking about ever since our first date, even before that. She's everything I need.

"What do you need?" I asked her.

"Time... I need to know this is right. That this is what I want." she said.

"How much time?" she shrugged her shoulders. "I just know I love you too much" she confessed once more. "But, I think for the first time I need to put myself first. I've spent so much time looking after my aunt, then shifting focus to the store, then to Kennedy... then you came along and everything just shifted" her eyes poured into mine, making the emotions I was holding back unbearable.

"I think I need to shift myself back" tears flowed faster when I took hold of her. To feel her on my skin this one more time.

"But, I just got you" I mumbled against her skin. Her grip tightened around me as I let a tear fall onto her shoulder.

"You've always had me"

*

My eyes fluttered open. I sighed realising I had woken up. The first thing in my mind, Luke. I checked the time '11:30' I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. I'm 3 hours late for work.

Do I still have Luke? We never broke up. It was almost like an emotional goodbye, a very emotional goodbye. It's been a couple days and I haven't done much besides sleep, watch movies and bath. It's like aunt Isabella died all over again.

I miss him, I miss his touch and the way he smiled at me.

Did I do something really stupid? Or have I done the best thing for my sanity?

Is it healthy to think about someone this much? to obsess over how you feel when they touch you or how you feel when their name pops up on your phone screen?

It doesn't feel healthy to only have one thing on your mind.

Luke is all I want, Luke is all I love.

But I need to love myself before I can really love someone else.

I feel like a fruit cake.

I feel like a complete and utter idiot.

But when my dad came back. He seemed so clear on who he was and what he really wanted. I want that. I want to know what it's like to be clear on something, so clear that you know exactly how to approach the situation.

I need to be clear.

I need Luke.

I picked up my phone and went to click on his contact when something inside me told me to drop the phone.

'This isn't helping you' my conscience told me.

"Sweetheart, I'm leaving some boxes outside your room" my mum said through the door.

"Thanks" I called back.

I looked around my near bare room.

I know I need time, but is distance the answer?

*Authors Note*

Wow! This is short! again I'm so sorry guys xx but wow! 2.5K reads? sorry but for me that's amazing! xx

Thank you guys for reading even though there are heaps of spelling mistakes and terrible paragraphs and chapters xx