The Long Game (Joshaya)

Let's Talk

Song of the Chapter: Moment Like You by Lia Marie Johnson

* Josh's POV *

"Here I was, thinking you were still the same person from a few years ago. But now I realize that a lot can change in a few years." Maya says, raising her voice.

"Maya, I'm still the same person." I say, wrapping her hands in mine.

"No, you're not," she says looking at our hands. She shakes her hands free and looks back at me. "And neither am I." 

With that, she begins to run down the sidewalk. I look at the the back of her, growing smaller as she runs farther away from me. People look at me and start to whisper in each other's ears.

"Aren't you going to get her?" a little girl asks me. I turn to look at her and see that she's has blonde hair, just like Maya. I stare at her for a few seconds until her mother picks her up and apologizes for her.

"No problem," I whisper to her, but she probably didn't hear me.

She's right. I wish I could've figured it out for myself. I look back at the little girl, who's head is resting on her mother's shoulder. I smile at her and she flashes a smile back, her two front teeth missing.

I begin to run after Maya, not knowing where she went, but hoping I'll catch up with her anyways. I decide to run to 34th street and turn left, like she said we would. I squeeze myself past people and finally reach 34th street and look to the left to see the Empire State Building. She must be there. I could feel it. I run to the building and ask the person at the front desk if she saw Maya run in. I describe Maya to her and when I finish, she says, "My, that was really specific, young man. She your girl?"

"Yes," I say, catching my breath. "Is she here?"

"Yeah, she comes here all the time. She's goes to the observatories."

"Thank you," I say running towards the elevators.

"Hope things work out!" she replies behind me. I jump into the elevator, along with business workers and tourists. It feels like forever until we reach the roof, but when we do, I push my way out of the elevator and start running around looking for her.

"Maya!" I shout as a I run around the roof. The sun was beginning to set and the lights of New York were beginning to turn on. I reach for my phone and realize I left it at her apartment. I had to find her before dark.

"Maya!" I continue to shout. People begin to stare at me again. I feel my eyes begin to sting with tears. I look over the side of the building at the busy streets. She could be anywhere by now.

"Shit, Maya. Where are you?" I shout down at the streets. Then, someone from behind me covers my mouth and pulls me away from the side of the building.

"Josh, shut up. I'm right here." The person turns me around so I can see who it is, and I see her blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Please, don't leave me again," I whisper, hugging her as tight as I can.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm just happy I found you." As we continue to hug, people on the roof start clapping and cheering. I see the woman that was at the front desk smiling and wiping away tears. Why were these people interested in us? Maya turns her head towards the setting sun, but keeps it on my chest, our arms still around each other.

"I'm glad you found me," she says. "I knew you would."

"How?"

"I just did."

I begin to twirl a piece of her hair and think about what to say next. "We have a lot to talk about," I say to her. She pulls away from me, but I grab her hand before she walks away again.

"Ok," she says, leading me over to a bench.

I take a deep breath and sit next to her. I look at her and see the innocence in her eyes, and I feel like I'll break her with what I was planning to tell her. But she needed to know. Based off of what happened with Kacey today, I realized I couldn't hide myself from her any longer.

"First of all, you're right. We're not the same people we were a few years ago. Which is why I think we need to get to know each other...again." I stick out my hand for her to shake. "I'm Josh."

She returns my handshake with a questioning smile. "Maya."

"Ok, I'm just gonna tell you what's been going on." I take a deep breath, not knowing what reaction to expect from her. "College has been an exciting and confusing journey. My grades are pretty good and I'm a tutor for Biochemistry." I glance over to her and see that I still have her attention. "Yes, I've been to parties and other college events with...other people."

"Makes sense." she says, nodding her head.

"No, Maya. There's more than just going to parties." I can feel her innocence in the atmosphere and I can't get myself to suck it up and just tell her. "People are just...really mean at parties." It was close enough to the truth.

"And Kacey, she was a mean one?"

"Yeah, more or less."

"Is that all you need to tell me?"

 I look at her and see that she's serious about wanting to know everything about me. But I think she knows enough for now.

"Yeah, that's it. Your turn."

"Ok. High school was definitely not what I was expecting it to be. If you asked me a few years ago if I wanted to dance ballet, I would've said no without a doubt. But, during the summer before sophomore year, I was walking around outside and passed by that dance studio. I've never seen any moves so sharp, yet flowing gently. I walked in and asked about beginners classes; I thought I'd just try it out. Turns out, it came naturally to me. It was still a lot of work to learn though. I practice 5 days a week and my teacher told my about Juilliard my junior year. I checked it out and...I don't know...everything just fell into place."

Wow, I've missed that much in Maya's life? I definitely needed to catch up with her. I looked over at her and she was looking at the sun disappearing over the skyscrapers. I could tell that she told me everything, didn't hold anything back.

"What about art?" I ask her.

"I still love it, but it's just...a hobby now, I guess."

"You know, they have a great art program at NYU."

"And how do you know that?"

"Uh, I have a friend in the program?" Shoot, it came out sounding like a question instead of a statement.

"I know when you're lying, Josh," Maya says. "But I doubt you're wrong."

Why does she trust me? I don't want her to trust people that quickly.

"No, I'm lying. I don't even know if NYU has an art program."

"I'm sure they do."

"Why do you trust me? You barely know me anymore."

She stays quiet for a moment, just watching the lights of the city. She turns to me and places her hand on my knee.

"Josh, you may not be the same person you were before, but that person from before will always be apart of you. Trust me, I know."

"Why do you like me? You can do so much better."

"No matter who I end up with, you'll always have a piece of my heart. I promise."

That was a big promise to keep. I don't know if I can return that promise.