The Long Game (Joshaya)

Admit It

* Josh's POV *

I wake up to find Maya curled up and facing away from me. The last thing I remember is her laying on top of me as she brushed my hair out of my eyes. It got my heart beating. She got my heart beating. I never thought she would do something like that. I have to stop thinking of her as a little girl. She's not little anymore. She's a beautiful young woman. I should start treating her like one.

I get up and pull a dirty shirt from a little pile of my clothes next to her night stand. I face away from her bed as I undo the rest of the buttons on my shirt. As it falls off my shoulders, I hear Maya yawn. I turn around in an instant. When I look back at her in bed, I find her still asleep. I let out a breath of air and pull the shirt over my head. I walk over to Maya's bedside and kiss her forehead, brushing her hair back as she did for me the night before. 

As I walk out of her room, I find Shawn sitting at the kitchen table with his head down. Next to him is a plate with a slice of pizza. He's really trying---for Maya.

I couldn't talk to him. It would break his heart even more with the loss of Katy. I start to think of other people I could talk to. Cory already knows, which means he probably told Topanga as well. Maya's friends already look down on me after the way I left her. There's still one more person I think would be able to listen and understand where I'm coming from.

---

I knock on the door and when it opens, Auggie is standing with Ava right behind him. Even though their age difference is only one year apart, they still believe they can make it. I wish I had realized that sooner on my part.

"Uncle Josh!" Auggie says with a smile. He steps forward to give me a hug, his head almost reaching the top of my chest.

"Hey, Auggie," I reply, hugging him back. "Where's your sister?"

"In her room."

"Thanks, bud." I ruffle his curly hair and begin walking to her room. She's sitting in the bay window, a place that has become a safe place for all that have the opportunity to be in it. I knock on her open door and when she turns around, she greets me with a smile.

"Hey," she says, standing up. She blows her nose in a tissue and as she walks over, I can tell she's been crying. Her eyes and nose are red. She walks over and gives me a hug.

"Hey," I reply. "I need to talk to you." She pulls away and places her hands on my shoulders.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure." I follow her as she walks back to the bay window. When I sit down, I look down and fumble with my hands in my lap. "Can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

"You can't tell anyone about this."

"What about---"

"Especially Maya."

After I say that, she sits up straighter. "It's about her, isn't it?"

I nod and look out the window, thinking about how she's just a few stories away.

"Before you---do anything, can you please just listen?"

Riley nods in response. "I'll listen."

"When we first started---hanging out again, I kind of had a thing with another girl at college. When she found out about Maya, she threatened to hurt her. She wanted to ruin Maya's chances of getting into Juilliard. She said the only way I could stop her...was to sleep with her..." I look up at Riley, who has her mouth pressed into a straight line.

"And you did," she replies, completing the story. "You led Maya to believe that you've actually changed and cared about her. How could you do that?"