The Long Game (Joshaya)

Cloudy Minds

Song of the Chapter: Silence by David Hodges

* Maya's POV *

I lay in bed thinking about Juilliard and Paris. Staying here or going to a whole new place. Both would be a new adventure, ones I wish I didn't have to choose between. I don't even know if I'll get into Juilliard, but what if I do? What if I give it up before I even know I could do it. I toss and turn, not being able to push the thought aside so I can sleep. I know that if he were here, I could just...forget about everything for a bit. I was pretty hard on him earlier. I should've heard his side of the story before telling him to leave. After all, he has his own life too.

I grab my sketchpad and pull on a sweatshirt and shoes. I need to get out, just walk around to clear my head. I begin to mindlessly walk around and find myself on the roof of the apartment building. You couldn't see much since it's lower than all the other buildings. I walk around the roof and find a scene to draw. I flip through the pages of my sketchbook and look over all of my drawings. Some are just sketches, others are full sceneries. I turn to the page of California, New York, and Paris. Now, I feel like my heart is only torn between two places. I don't know if I should thank Riley for that, but now I feel like I have some kind of debt to pay.

I begin to draw, starting with the outline of the buildings. I always think of the background as the support and base for the foreground. Like a building, a piece of art is only as strong as its base. I peer over the edge, thinking about the feeling of not having anyone to catch you. Could you even find someone to catch you?

"Hey," I hear someone say behind me. I jump out of my seat, knocking my sketchbook off my lap. "I thought you'd be here."

"Yeah, well...here I am. How long have you been here?"

"Since I left the Matthews'."

"If I'd known, I would've come up sooner." 

He chuckles and looks down at the ground. "I'm sorry--"

"Look, you don't have to apologize. You have your own life and I should've thought of that before going at you."

"No, there's something--"

"It's okay, really." Josh takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. So, how was your audition?"

I grab my sketchpad and sit back down. "I feel like...I performed better than I have in my entire life."

"Well then, we should do something to celebrate."

"I, uh...actually have something else to tell you, too."

"What is it?"

I stay quiet for a few seconds, thinking about how I should tell him. Why should I tell him if I haven't made a decision yet. He could help me, but he told me not to make this decision with his influence.

I flip through the pages of my sketchbook until I find the sketch of the Lyceum theater audience, the viewpoint of the performers. I rip it out and scribble a message on the back. I hand it to Josh, who has a confused look on his face.

"Happy early birthday," I say to him.

"Right, I forgot," he chuckles, looking over the drawing. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I return to working on the drawing, Josh watching me over my shoulder. After a few minutes, I hear him yawn. "You tired?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"C'mon." I reply, standing up and offering my hand. "We should go to bed."

He smiles up at me, but I see worry in his eyes. Is he worried that I'll leave?