The Long Game (Joshaya)

Loved Ones

Song of the Chapter: All I Want by Kodaline

* Maya's POV *

I straighten out my black dress as I look at myself in the mirror. I don't remember the last time I went to a funeral; I don't remember ever going to a funeral. I don't really know my extended family, but...I don't mind. I have everyone I need here in New York. Everyone that has made me who I am today is right here. I bite my lip as I pull out the charm necklace from under the neckline of the dress, the two delicate gold hearts still linked together. In the mirror, I see the bruise on my wrist and rub it.

"Maya, you almost done?" Shawn asks, knocking at the door.

"Yeah, almost." I pull on my black leather jacket, the sleeves long enough to cover the bruise. I take a deep breath as I pull the jacket tightly around my body. I don't know who's going to be there, but I'm more concerned about who won't be there. I grab the piece of paper with the eulogy from my bed and join Shawn in the living room.

"You look just like your mom," he says as I walk in. A small smile forms on his face, something I haven't seen since my mom went into the hospital.

"Thanks," I reply, not knowing what else to say.

"Is, uh, Josh coming?"

"Um, I don't know. Why?" I grab the charm and rub it between my fingers.

"I know with everything happening, you're gonna need someone to lean on. You have me, Riley, the Matthews, but I know you have a special place in your heart now for Josh. You always have."

"How?"

"I remember the first time I met you and your mother at the Matthews' for Christmas. You wouldn't leave Riley's side. When Josh came, I saw something between you two. I couldn't be happier that you two are together."

He walks over to me and gives me a hug. We didn't really have deep conversations like this, but when we did, it made me feel closer to him than ever.

"Thanks, Shawn. You always know what to say." I pull back so I can look at his face. He looks really tired. "I don't even know if he'll show.

"I know he will. He cares about you too much not to."

I give him a small smile before we walk out the door to his car, the first car I rode in with my family, the same car I learned to drive in, the same car Josh and I took to the beach. One place, so many memories.

The ride to the graveyard feels like a lifetime and I can't keep my mind on one thing. I stare at the window watching the skyscrapers of New York City turn into smaller urban buildings and then into green hills. When we arrive, I see the Matthews, including Eric and Morgan, Farkle and his father, even Mr. Feeny. Farkle walks over to Smackle and Zay, who are standing off on the side. I feel more on edge when I don't see Lucas.

Shawn opens the driver's door and takes a step out. He looks over at me with a concerned look on his face.

"I'll catch up."

He leaves the car to greet everyone outside. I stare at the piece of paper in my hands, the words I never got to say to my mom before she died. She told me the world goes out of its way to teach us hard lessons, but this? This is too much for me. Life doesn't love me, no matter who it sends into my life. It's give and take. 

I look back out at the funeral and catch a glimpse of her casket. I quickly look away and back down at my eulogy. I hear the car door open and see Riley get into the driver's seat.

"Hey," she says, giving me a small smile.

"Hi," I reply, my throat tight and dry. She pulls me in for a hug as I feel the first of many tears fall down my face.