Mine (Austin Mahone Fan Fiction)

chapter 23. ♡

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"Just because we broke up doesn't mean I still don't care."

Once we arrived at the party, the strong odor of beer struck my nose. I shrugged my shoulders as I began walking with Austin towards Chase's house. 

I didn't drink- well. I didn't like drinking, but hey, a little while here and there wouldn't hurt, right?

We opened the door and I walked in being followed by Austin. Instantly, my eyes trailed along the dance floor. Girls grinding on boys. Making out. Dancing everywhere. Austin licked his lips as watched the girls dancing. I rolled my eyes as I hit his shoulder. He chuckled at my sudden reaction and took my hand.

"Dance with me?" He whispered in my ear.

"Okay, but don't expect me to grind on you." I said as he chucked once again and led me to the dance floor. Our fingers still connecting, we began to dance. Here and there, out bodies would occasinally brush past each other. It made me tingle, in joy or in anger? I don't know- but  I liked it.

Once we finished dancing, Austin took my hand as we began walking towards the kitchen. Once we got to the kitchen, Austin poured a drink for me and him.

"Thanks," I mumbled before sipping the beer.

"Welcome," He smiled before sipping his cup.

As soon as we finished our drinks, we went to the dance floor- again. While dancing, I noticed how big Chase's house was. Of course I've been to his house multiple times while we were dating, but never once have I actually stared at every single detail in his house. The way the plasma tv was built into the walls and how the furniture was designed- it all was so- wow.

Then I stared at a painting, it had quotes on it.

"If love is great, and there are no greater things, then what I feel for you must be the greatest."

If love is great, and there are no greater things, then what I feel for you must be the greatest. 

I smiled as I read that quote. I remember one day when Chase and I were having a night picnic, we were looking up at the stars and he told me,

"I'll pull the stars down from the heavens to fill your empty skies."

I found a tear fall from my eyes, I quickly managed to wipe it away without anybody noticing. He was so sweet and innocent. He would say the smallest things to make me smile. And that's probably why I felt for him.

I wouldn't say I'm completely over him- done with, but I'm recovering and I'm trying. I just miss h'im- a lot.

I sniffled my nose, trying not to cry. I was hiding it for Austin, even though he coulld see right threw me. 

"Lil's, is everything okay?" Austin asked me. I slowly nodded my head.

"I'm fine." I whispered, but was lying.

Here's the thing; when I say, 'I'm fine' I'm not fine- no. I just want to go somewhere alone and cry and yell my feelings out. I just want to scream so loud and hit things and break things- because nothing is 'fine' and nothing ever will be in my life.

I'm not perfect. I'm just me. Like Emma said, I am human- I make mistakes. A lot.

I just  wish everyone would accept me. I'm perfectly imperfect. And I do some crazy shit only because I can. I'm not normal and I'm socially awkward. I'm shy here and there, but once you get to know me; I'm a pain in the ass.

I make a lot of messes and I lose myself. I over think about everything and I try to make the best of the worst situation. I smile so I could keep others happy, when actually I'm broken inside. I am alive, hyper, and smiling on the outside, but dying slowly inside. I'm the type of person who cries in sad movies and procrastinates way to much and is very lazy. I'm the type of person who talks sarcastic fluently and always takes the most randomized selfies. I laugh really weird. And am disgusting. I would try to do anything to make someone smile.