chapter 7. ♡

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I stood there, looking down. Not once did I look up. I just wanted to run away, leave my problems, that's what I usually do. So I did. I just spun around, taking one step at a time, heading for the door. I heard Chase calling for me, but why would I listen? He doesn't like me. No one does.

Once I got to the door, I sprung it open and ran out. I didn't hear anyone stopping me or following me, so I just ran. Ran where? Around the school. I couldn't exactly leave school, as much as I wanted to. You see, this isn't a fairytale. This isn't a love song. This is life. And you have to deal with it. It may not be perfect, you may not get every single thing you wish for, you make big mistakes, but that's how you learn, right?

I stopped running and began pacing, back and forth. Why was I pacing? God knows. I was sad, angry, unloveable, worthless, stupid, a-

"Lily!?" A familiar voice called. Shit. 

I stopped pacing, so they didn't hear me. But that didn't work. "Lil's I've been looking everywhere for you! Are- are you okay? I'm so sorry. You-" Austin started, I already felt him pity. And like I said I don't need pity.

"Stop it. I don't need your pity. Okay? I just need space. I just need time. Go ahead, tell me you told me so. I know you want to, Austin." I spat, looking down at the ground, feeling the verge of tears. I looked up to see him, he was just standing there, a few feet away from me. "Go ahead, say it." I whispered quietly, waiting for those four words to slip out of his mouth, but it never did. "Aust-"

"You think- you think, I would actually say that to you?" He said as he looked down, hurt obviously.

"W-" 

"Lil's, I wouldn't ever say that." He whispered walking closer to me. "You're my best friend ya know..." He chuckled. "As much as I don't want to admit it, you mean so much to me. And I don't ever want to lose you. Without you, I would be lost." He said truthfully, staring at me directly. "I love you-"

Footsteps interrupted his speech. We both turned around to see Emma running away.

Oh fuck. Fuckety Fuck. Oh god. Lord. Jesus. Motherfu-

"Shit!" Austin mumbled under his breath before sprinting off, leaving me hanging. I watched him leave and before I knew it. He was gone. I hope Emma's not mad at me. Today's just been too long and exhausting. I probably am already late to my next class. Why not just walk home? Yeah, I'm going to walk home. My houses isn't that far away from the school. Five minutes the longest, walking would probably take 10 minutes considering cars are faster than legs. 

I threw all my shit in my school bag, zipped it up, and put it on my back. The school was really busy, so I don't think anybody would notice if I just opened the door and left. I spun my head around, checking to see if anybody was there, watching me. Nobody. No one. Empty. Perfect.

I sprinted towards the door and thrusted it forward, causing it to swing open. I smiled widely, before running out the doors, "FREEDOM!!" I shouted as I begun walking to my house. It was nice and windy, a bit dark out, that's when I felt the first rain drop hit my shoudler, than another of my scalp, and then a million on me.

You got to be fucking kidding me.

Rain! Wonderful, perfectly, perfect. Exactly what I need. I didn't look back, I just kept walking. Would I catch a cold? Probably. Did I care? Absolutely not. In fact, I wanted to get sick, because then I wouldn't face school, Chase, Emma, and Austin.

After walking, what felt like forever, but only was 10 minutes, I arrived home. No one was home, considering both my parents work full time and Mat was still in school. I shrugged and went upstairs and changed. I was absolutely drenched. Head to toe. My bookbag, and proabably all  my notes, homework, and class papers too. I sighed and pulled my hair into a high, messy bun before falling onto my bed. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to do anything. I just sat there, staring at the ceiling. Hours past by, and still, me staring into the ceiling, discovering every single detail, light carmel color, bumpy, but smooth surface. Plane, but interesting design. I never seemed to get bored. But honestly, I was bored as fuck. But I didn't have anything to do. By now, I would be home from school. I finally, got up and stretched before skipping down the steps. Mat already was home. 

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