When Samantha James becomes One Direction's personal assistant, she gets more than she bargains for. Falling for Harry Styles is one of them. But things aren't always easy or beautiful, because Sam has secrets--dark ones, and she'll do anything to h...
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All of my shirts somehow smelled like Sam.
It wasn't an overbearing scent; it didn't hit you right in the face when you noticed it. It was a gentle, soft scent that quietly moved through the air and coated itself in everything. I tore apart my suitcase, bringing every piece of fabric up to my face to smell it and there she was, just a ghost.
Five days and not a word. Every now and then I'd pick up my phone and hover over her name, deciding exactly what to do. Call her? Send her a quick text with hopes that she was doing okay? Did I want to reopen old wounds?
On stage I was myself. No matter what was going on in the world I could go on stage and forget about everything going on. Seeing the sea of faces, hearing the screaming, it calmed my insides. But once I was off stage and utterly alone without Sam, I was so far from being myself.
All I could think about was that day, the one where I positively fucked up everything. She needed me, and when I thought I was there, I actually wasn't. I threw her past in her face. I let her down.
But there was a part of me that so incredibly pissed off at her.
What we had was good, right? It wasn't perfect. It was so far from it, really, but there was something about Sam that my bones will never be able to shake. I could write a book about everything that I loved about her, but I would never be able to describe what kept me holding on.
"Harry," a voice said.
I looked up from twisting my rings, my eyebrows raised. "Yeah?"
"Where'd you go?" Liam asked, a hint of concern washing over his face.
My tongue swept over my lips and I sighed, relaxing back into the couch. "I should call her, shouldn't I? I mean, I don't know what to say but I just feel like I need to talk to her and make sure she's alright."
"She's probably pretty far from being okay. The both of you, really," Liam replied.
Niall situated himself in the couch opposite of me, lifting his gaze from his phone. "Maybe the two of you just need closure?"
Closure. Maybe. I didn't really want closure, though.
I wanted her.
I shrugged.
I knew that she'd gone back to Los Angeles to stay with Nikki, but I didn't know when I was going to be able to make it there to see her or talk to her, due to tour and everything. We were headed to the UK soon, and I'd be even farther away from her.
"I'm going to call her," I announced, chewing on my lip.
Liam and Niall looked at each other, debating on whether to interject. Before they could say a word, I jumped up from the couch and excused myself to an adjacent room that was empty. I scrolled through the contacts in my phone, stopping over her name. I paused for a moment, but then tapped her name and brought the phone to my ear.
She picked up on the fourth ring, but stayed silent on the other end. The only reason I knew she was still there, was because I could hear her breathing. "Sam?" I said.
Sam stayed quiet.
"Sam, listen to me. Please don't hang up, okay?" I took a deep breath. "I really... I just miss you, baby, okay? I know that I fucked up. I really, really fucked up, but I think that if you can forgive me... if we can forgive each other, we can get through this."
She shifted on the other end and I heard a small whimper, like she was holding in a sob. "Sam," I said quietly, backing up against the wall next to me. I knew that heartbreak didn't include your actual heart tearing apart, but in that moment, it really felt like the muscle in my chest was separating. "I love you. God, I love you. Please."
She sniffled on the other end and I heard her take a deep breath. "Harry," she began. Her voice was strained and tight. I could imagine her in that moment, probably lounging on her bed, her eyes and cheeks red from crying. But I bet she looked beautiful, no matter what. "You deserve better, okay?"
"No-," I interrupted.
"Yes, you do," she cut back in. "You deserve so much more than me. I know that now."
There was a lump in my throat. How could she, after everything that we'd been through, think that she wasn't good enough for me? "I don't, Sam. I don't want anyone else. I want you."
She sighed. "Look, Harry. I can't—I can't do this. It was never going to work. I've told you this before, and I know that you know it. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. I'll make a statement on all my social media on Monday. It'll be clean, short, and to the point."
There was so much that I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't find the right words or how to say them. I wanted to tell her that all of this was a mistake, that we were meant for each other, that I'd fight for her until she'd understand.
But then I realized that no matter what I said or did, Sam was never going to believe me. She was never going to believe that we were meant to be together, no matter what. She didn't want to try and I couldn't make her.
I swallowed. "Okay," I replied quietly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I know."
She sniffled again. "I love you. Bye."
The line went dead and I slumped against the wall, burying my head in my hands for a quick moment. My relationship with Sam was officially over, and I saw little to no hope for us ever getting back together. She'd be making a statement Monday, and that would make it even more real than it already was.
I took a deep breath and left the room, rejoining Liam and Niall. They looked up from their conversation, silencing when they saw me. "So?" Niall asked. "How did it go?"
I gave them a tight smile, shoving my phone back into my pocket. I bit my lip and slapped my hands together. "She uh... it's over. She's making a statement Monday."
