Dear Richie

October 2 Age: 15

Dear Richie,

I was about to ask you about your day today. You were with your huge group of friends, talking about who knows what, while eating lunch in the cafeteria.

I honestly hesitated. You seemed to be doing just fine without me in your life. I held my dirty, brown sack lunch in clenched at the top in my palm, standing there like a lovesick buffoon.

I constantly conflicted with myself inside my head, debating what to say or what not say or to even say anything at all.

I finally mustered up the courage when I saw you glance down at your food, practically untouched, and then back up towards me.

I obviously took my eyes away, seeming more interested in the floor. I glanced back up only to see you smile and then turn away, chatting away again.

That's what it took: seeing you smile. You could've been smiling over anything, but that didn't matter.

So I began walking towards you.

But then was quickly seized upon by Melanie, my latest ex-bestfriend.

She stepped right in the way, towering over me.

"Hey, Lee-ah," she poked at my shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?"

I took a quick glance at my surroundings; nobody seemed to be paying attention to me or her.

"I'm just," I paused to hold up my sack lunch, "eating lunch. 'Cause that's what you do in a cafeteria...is eat lunch..."

She fained laugh, then glared down at me.

"Have you always been a smart-alec or do you have to work at it?" She stated, her words rolling off her tongue.

"At least I'm a smart-alec instead of dumb-."

That's what I would've said, but I didn't have the guts to say it.

Instead I just stood there, some eyes were now focused on us.

I tried to peek over Melanie's shoulder to catch a glimpse of you.

My mistake.

"Hey, pipsqueak," she shoved my right shoulder, catching me off guard and nearly sending me flat on my butt to the floor. "Eyes here." She pointed her fingers at her own eyes.

Curious by my gaze, she traces it to the source: you.

"Oh my goodness," she laughed. "You still like Richie?" That gained a lot of stares.

I couldn't tell if you did, though.

"Seriously, though, how long has it been? A year now?" She fained thinking, placing a finger to her chin.

I simply stared at the floor.

"What's wrong, Meadows? Cat got your tongue?" She teased, gaining a few giggles from nearby tables.

I didn't know what to do or what to expect. Sure, I've been picked on and teased before and I've been able to let it slide.

But this was different. She was teasing me about my affections for you.

She laughed at me. One of my old friends, who I placed trust in, was mocking me.

When she saw that she was having no lasting effect on me, I guess she decided to resort to other measures of torture.

"Hmm," she faked contemplation again. "What would you think would happen if I just suddenly...told him?"

I heard some of the students gasp dramatically.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, my fists clenching and unclenching. "You wouldn't dare."

"I would," she emphasized the last word with an undaunting glare.

I tried to mask my somber expression with a look of determination.

"Go ahead, Melanie." I don't know how well I did.

I guess that I threw her for a loop. She didn't seem to be expecting that at all.

With her nastiest glare, she strutted closer to me. Melanie easily dominated me with her supreme height; I could feel her breathing in my face.

"Don't test me, Lee-ah," she breathed. Then she shoved past me, actually sending me to the floor this time and my sack lunch out of my grip.

Unfortunately, as I crawled over to grab it, people had already unconsciously (or consciously) stomped on it as they walked by.

I sighed in aggrivation, pulling my flattened sandwich out of the bag to check on it.

I lifted myself up, dusting myself off. Then I glanced over at your table.

You were gone.

I continued on my way, turning around to eat in the bathroom in peace.

And the worst thing is that I feel as if this just the beginning.