Dear Richie

Sorry...

November 23 Age:16

Dear Richie,

I know I said long ago that I'd never write to you again because I was finally COMPLETELY over you.

Yet here I am, writing another letter in this stupid journal.

I should've burned it, or tore it to shreds, or maybe not even start this at all.

I thought this journal would be a book full of accomplished dreams. Something that I could refer back to and say, "wow, I did this." A book that my future children could look through when I die and say, "mom, you were so great to dad."

Instead this journal gives me false hope.

Nobody likes me. And neither should you.

I am sorry, but this is my real last letter to you.

After tonight, Leia Meadows will no longer exist. The pranks, the teasing, the rumors- they will all cease.

People don't seem to realize the effect they can have on others. How their words can slash like daggers or mend like bandages. How their actions speak louder than their words, and can be much worse.

All I really want is for it to stop. I want to be at peace with myself and those around me.

But, even if the bullying miraculously ended, I would never feel the same way again. I'd always be checking my back for any knives stuck in it, eyeing every single step I took, and evaluating every face that I passed by.

Even if everything changed, it'd still be the same. I would always remember. I would always know.

I'll never change.

So this is goodbye, Chris, for real this time. I know that I could never really have you. I'm a disappointment. You don't want to be seen with me.

Sincerely,
Leia Meadows

♡◇♡◇♡

As Leia began to etch in one half of her heart that she usually places beside her name, she felt her own crumble into pieces.

She stares down at the half heart, taking in the reality of this moment, and then slams her book shut, tossing it as far away from her as possible.

Her parents are still at work; they shouldn't be home for at least another two hours. Liam went out to jam with his friends. Lily was being picked up by their grandma, who normally takes her out to play at the park afterwars, so they should be home by dinner time.

So Leia is left alone.

She makes her way across the living room to her parent's room. She then ducks under the bed and pulls out a box, revealing a handgun.

This is it. This is really it.

Tears begin to weld up, but Leia refuses to allow them to stream down her cheeks.

With hands trembling like an earthquake, Leia holds up the gun and then takes a few minutes to actually cock it, due to her little knowledge and use with any sort of gun.

When it is finally cocked, Leia takes one last breath, glancing at her surroundings. She thought about how she would die where her life began, in this very room. She wished that she could go back in time, a time where people still loved her, where over joyous to see her.

Unfortunately, at the moment, she couldn't recollect a single one.

She could only imagine what it was like when she was born, her parents actually beaming at her and her brother Lucas in the next room, sitting on Grandpa's lap. People gathered around her for the first time with smiles prominent all around.

Too bad those moments don't last forever.

Leia releases one cry, one last word before ending it all.

"Sorry."