Unhealthy Love

Chapter 8

Zayn took a seat on the arm lean of a couch and took out his earphones, before focusing fully on Niall.

“Sup?” He said nonchalantly, and Niall would wish he didn’t sound so indifferent; couldn’t he at least pretend like he cared? He obviously knew what this was about.

Niall looked at him for a moment; like really looked at him. He didn’t know what he searched for, but all he got out of it was a heavier heart. He really wanted a hug from him as he realized Zayn had never held him; not even after sex. He mentally shook his head to get his sidetracked thoughts together; he had to do this. He might want it, but it certainly wasn’t healthy if he was losing his friends over this and it caused him head aching thoughts.

“I can’t do this anymore,” He blurted out; he didn’t want to beat around the bush, besides they were on time pressure. They had to get back to class in 10 minutes.

He studied Zayn’s reaction closely and was really disappointed when his facial expression didn’t change immediately. He just looked at him for a long moment, and Niall hated he couldn’t see what was going through his mind.

“Do what?” He finally said, and Niall wished he wouldn’t play dumb. The blonde waved between them frantically as he realized he didn’t know what to describe their relationship as. “.. This…” He trailed off and thought they couldn’t even be called friends with benefits; they weren’t even friends. Fuck buddies? The term made Niall shudder. “…this between us can’t continue,” He finally said. “It’s over,” the words left his mouth heavily and tasted sourly on his tongue.

Zayn’s eyes were boring into his, and Niall squirmed a little. The raven then tilted his face a little to the side and quirked a brow at him.

“Is that what you really want, Niall?” He inquired, and Niall didn’t reply; of course it wasn’t what he wanted, but what he wanted wasn’t the best thing. “Or is it something your friends decided for you?”

Niall wetted his dry lips, didn’t reply and just stared blankly at the boy sitting before him. He felt a little fidgety when Zayn gracefully climbed to his feet and stared at him, wanting a reply even though he clearly knew it.

“… it’s for the best,” Niall said hoarsely and awkwardly cleared his throat. He dropped his gaze from Zayn’s penetrating eyes and fiddled with the hem of his shirt just to get something to do.

“... you didn’t like it?” Zayn asked, and Niall’s eyes gaze snapped up. Zayn was looking at him with that blank expression and it was impossible to see what he was thinking. “I did,” Niall told honestly.

Zayn had taken a few steps closer, enough to make Niall even more nervous. “You can’t let people tell you what to do, Niall,” His voice was quiet and Niall inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes, tilting his face to the floor. He was surprised when Zayn was standing up close to him, and he stumbled a few steps back, only to have a bookcase close in on him. He looked up at Zayn’s eyes that were a little too close; he could smell the faint smell of cigarette and aftershave.

“Tell me,” Zayn breathed and intensely looked into Niall’s eyes. “Tell me it’s what you want and you won’t see me again.” Niall’s eyes widened a little as he stared a little shocked into his big amber eyes. His heart beat so fast that it actually hurt, and his breath was a little labored. Zayn’s body heat and scent were dizzying him.

“Zayn… I…” His throat might as well have been rubbed with sandpaper; what with the way his voice had turned all hoarse. He knew what the answer was, and he didn’t want to lie. He didn’t want this to end, but neither did he want to lose his friends. He couldn’t possibly chose, which seemed ridiculous seeing as a week ago, he would have gone with his friends in a heartbeat. When had Zayn wormed into his life without him noticing? Why did he have such an addicting pull to him?