Unhealthy Love

Chapter 25

Niall knew this wasn’t the best of his decision; probably his worst. His hair was dripping wet and his clothes had absorbed all the rain water; now clinging uncomfortably to his body. He stared at Nathan through his wet bangs, and Nathan sent him a smile, tilting his head a little and raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

“Come here,” He said and patted the spot next to him on the bed. “Don’t be shy.”

Niall gritted his teeth together and tried not to appear as scared as he felt; the numbness that had been spreading through him the last hour helped greatly. He felt a little more than senseless. He walked up to the bed – not too slow, not too fast – and forced himself to keep eye contact with Nathan whose dark eyes were piercing into his blank ones.

He reached the bed and sat down a few small inches from Nathan. The creak of the bed as Nathan shifted sounded awfully loud in Niall’s ears, almost enough to drown out his heart which was beating in loud, fast thuds; almost painful. “You’re freezing,” Nathan’s voice was close to his ear, and Niall fought down a shiver when he felt Nathan’s hand sneak around his waist, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. “Let me help you warm up.” Niall stared stiffly in front of him and had every intention of just sitting like that impassively, but Nathan had other plans.

Nathan cradled his chin and forced him to face him; this left their faces inches apart. Close up, Niall could see that Nathan’s eyes weren’t an ebony black like he’d thought in the beginning, but just a very, very dark shade of brown; the pupils were almost unnoticeable, but they were there. “You have such a lovely pair of blue eyes,” Nathan said, his breath was warm as it fanned over Niall’s face; Niall just stared back emotionlessly. Nathan leaned closer, and Niall tried to tame the knot of nausea growing inside of him. Nathan’s nose brushed Niall’s, and Niall’s breath staggered a little. “Almost as lovely as Harry’s green,” He said with a sinister glint in his eyes, and this got a reaction out of Niall.

The blonde grabbed Nathan’s shoulder tightly, holding him at bay. “How do I know you won’t hurt him?” He whispered hoarsely, Nathan’s face so close making him uncomfortable. “You’ll just have to trust me,” He replied and Niall just managed to take in a sharp intake of air, before Nathan closed the distance between them.

As Nathan’s lips moved against Niall’s, Niall tried not to think too much about what happened; better yet, not think of it at all. He knew the moment he began thinking that he was actually in a room, kissing Zayn’s older brother, he would probably crumble under a wave of self-loath.

As Nathan touched up his thigh, curled his finger around his waist and brought him closer, and when he licked his lips asking for entrance, Niall kept thinking that this was for Harry and Harry alone; he would do anything to protect the younger boy, even this. Niall fingers were shaking slightly as he hesitantly opened his mouth, and Nathan’s tongue slipped in. Nathan licked into his mouth slowly, experimentally at first but once he’d done one full mapping of every crevice, his kiss turned deeper, rougher. Niall gasped a little into his mouth when Nathan unexpectedly fisted a hand in his hair, tilting his head a little back and shoving his tongue deeper into Niall’s mouth.

This is for Harry, it’s the least you can do,” Niall chanted that sentence inside his mind, trying to convince himself, trying to hold back the wave looming over his head, threatening to reduce him to nothing. It felt wrong; for every little touch, Niall felt his already damaged dignity dropping lower.

Nathan pushed him onto his back as he broke the kiss, and Niall heaved a little after air. He looked up at Nathan’s handsome face as he looked down at him with those dark eyes; dark eyes raking over Niall’s body, almost calculating. As Nathan’s head dipped down and he trailed Niall’s jaw with kisses, Niall closed his eyes and imagined a time when things were a lot simpler; a time when he hadn’t met Zayn, a time when Harry hadn’t confessed to him, a time where he was carefree. When did thing become this bad? When did he become this person? Nathan was nibbling his neck, and his fingers were under Niall’s shirt, slowly bringing up the material; Niall thought he couldn’t recognize himself anymore.