Then *Poof* You Were There: A Markiplier fiction #Wattys2014

Chapter 16: You Only Die Once

~Mark's P.O.V.~

The day had been uneventful. I didn't pay much attention to anything. It just felt like a depressing day, even though outside it was sunny and bright. A lovely summer day. But it wasn't so great in my home. I had closed all the blinds and only had one lamp on, which was in my bedroom. I had uploaded the videos needed for today, but I didn't feel accomplished by them. Usually, seeing all my fans comments on how much they adored me and how they became happier when they watched the videos made my day all that much better. But not today.

I paced back and forth between the few rooms in my apartment all day. There wasn't anything to do. I didn't feel like playing games for fun anymore. I wasn't my usual happy weird self. I didn't want much to do with the outside world either. It just...wasn't fun anymore.

I haven't had fun in months. Not since the incident. It was such a misunderstanding, but it meant the world to me. She meant the world to me. At least, she did. She took my actions the wrong way and I messed up again. I'm not meant for relationships, I guess. I'm supposed to be alone for the rest of my life, aren't I? Ugh, why am I such a....

I can't even think straight. I'm just rambling. I don't like being a potato around my house. I like to do little things for my fans, like the instagram videos and weird pictures. I like to meet fans and talk to them. Hear their stories. Actually, I never heard how Alexis found me or why she kept watching. I don't know her story, do I? I guess it doesn't matter anymore. She's gone forever, and soon, I may be too.

I stopped in front of the kitchen, the knives in their cubbies speaking to me.

"Come on, Mark! Don't you just love how we glisten in the sunlight? Aren't we gorgeous? Don't you just want to...cut something out with us?"

"What the fuck?"

"Come on, Mark! Cut yourself open again! You'll feel better! You know you will!"

And some how, I felt like I would.

I walked over to the knives and picked the largest, sharpest one. I turned it in my hands and admired the shine it gave off in the small sunlight sneaking in through the blinds. I made another small cut on the palm on my left hand and watched the blood bead up and drip down my wrist.

Another cut here and there, until my whole hand was red. As much as it hurt and stung, It wasn't enough. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't feel right with small cuts on my hands. Something bigger. Something...more extreme.

Sooner might be here faster than I imagined.

I sat on the tile in my small kitchen and cried into my hands, still red with now drying blood. I could only imagined how I looked now, with red smeared all over my face as I cried into my cuts. I have never felt so low in my life. How did I even get here?

I knew what I was going to do. But, I can't leave without a few last words. I found some paper and a pen in the living room and went back to sit on the tile. I scribbled some meaningless words onto it, trying to avoid writing where blood had gotten onto the paper, and put it down next to where I thought I'd end up laying.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. Not for me, but for everyone in the world who looked up to me. To my friends...my family...everyone. Even Alexis. The one who I would literally give my heart to in the end. I hated the thought of it, but I knew this was the only way to be set free from these chains that were holding me down.

I kept crying, but even so I raised the knife, covered in blood from my hands, but it was about to look like a massacre in here.

"STOP NO!" Someone screamed at the top of their lungs and in seconds someone had grabbed the knife from my hands and was holding onto me from behind.