Dome → Isaac Lahey

5.3 : obituaries

Isaac sniffed and shivered as he helped Derek carry Carmen's body into her home. They set her body on the couch and both of them stood wordlessly, neither knowing what to say or if they should say anything at all.

Though Isaac had partially calmed down since her initial death, a few tears still found their way stinging into his eyes again. Every time he looked at her resting face, more and more would only form in place of others.

Isaac bit his lip and glanced up at Derek, who's jaw was tightly clenched along with his fists, his face stern.

"Derek . ." Isaac called timidly, getting his attention. Isaac raised his eyebrows at him, knowing that Derek would understand his unspoken question.

"I should be the one asking you that," Derek sniffs, staring down at her. "I'll be fine, I've dealt with this before. I uh- I have a capacity and an ability to suppress my emotions."

". . I don't." Isaac mumbles just above a whisper, feeling that familiar burning sensation within his throat again.

Derek finally gives in to his emotions and brings Isaac in for a hug, allowing them both to cry into each other's shoulders for support.

For more than a year, Carmen had become a staple in their life. She was always there, and no matter what he ever said to her or did to her, Derek loved her just as much as the next person and found it impossible to imagine a life without her constantly pestering him.

"I never got to say goodbye," Derek lets out a shaky breath, pulling away from Isaac.

Isaac gulps and sighs, glaring down at her.

"I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like her again." Isaac whispered, biting his lip painfully hard.

Derek opens his mouth to speak again, but Isaac quickly interrupts before he gets the chance.

"When will it be my turn?"

Derek furrowed his eyebrows at him in concern and confusion, "What do you mean?"

"We're the only two standing from our original pack," Isaac points out, "Boyd, Erica, and Carmen are all dead. When will it be my turn to go? Why was I the last beta standing?"

"Don't think like that," Derek frowns, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"She didn't deserve this," Isaac gulps down the lump in his throat. "I never deserved her."

"She's in a better place now, she's safe from everything in this world." Derek reassures him, looking down at the ground. "Try to get some sleep tonight. We can have the ceremony for her tomorrow at the Hale house. ."

Derek pats him on the back, his own eyes glazed over. He quickly removes himself from Carmen's home and to his own, refusing to let Isaac see him break down over the subject. 

Isaac sat next to the couch, undaring to look at her body again. He couldn't stand to look at her anymore, knowing that he would never be able to hear her voice again. He would never be able to hug her or kiss her, or tell her how much he loves her. He would never be able to see her face light up when she got passionate about something, or see the twinkle in her eyes when she spoke.

The thought only broke him further with each second passing that he thought about it, but he couldn't help himself. It was impossible for him to get any sleep, as every time he closed his eyes, he envisioned Carmen gasping and wheezing for air in his arms again.

Isaac leaned his head back on the arm of the chair and stared into the darkness of the lifeless home, sitting there for hours as the bags under his eyes sunk deeper and deeper.