insomniac✗destiel

❁Twenty-Four❁

Cold.

That's all both boys felt.

For Dean of course, it was just the cold tingle of emptiness over his bare skin when he first got up with no Cas next to him. For Cas though, it was a much different story.

Dean stretched and threw on a baggy t-shirt before making his way downstairs. He expected to hear music playing or Cas' rhythmic humming or the sizzling of something for breakfast. But no. It was silent.

"Cas?" Dean called and furrowed his brow as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He walked into the living room and his heart instantly skipped a beat. Cas was perched on the edge of the sofa, clutching his phone, so much that was knuckles were becoming slightly white. His eyes were red and puffy with distinct tear lines running down each of his cheeks.

His actual facial expression didn't suggest he was sad at all. More... empty, emotionless. The only signs were his bottom lip trembling slightly every so often and he was blinking frequently with a tear falling from either of his eyes sometimes. His breath seemed shaky and delayed and he didn't even look up to Dean.

"Oh my god. Cas!" Dean exclaimed and ran over to him, perching onto the sofa next to him. "Cas, look at me." Dean ordered, holding Cas' cheeks gently. Cas slowly tuned his pale face to look at Dean and sniffled a little. "Come here." Dean exhaled quietly as he pulled Cas into a hug. His one hand intertwined in Cas' hair and the other in the hollow of his back. It took Cas a moment but he managed to snake his arms around Dean' waist. "You gonna tell me what's wrong?" Dean asked, not letting go of Cas.

"Madelyn. My foster mom." Cas muttered quietly, his chin leaning on Dean's shoulder.

"What about her?" Dean questioned slightly, tracing Cas' spine gently with his thumb.

"Two days ago. She..." Cas paused and inhaled deeply. "She had a stroke. She's dead."

Cas felt a sort of wave of relief come over him, having said it out loud but Dean just felt his stomach churn up into knots. If Madelyn had been like anything of a mother to Cas, Dean knew exactly how he felt.

"Oh my god Cas. Hey, you're gonna be okay." Dean whispered comfortingly, placing a kiss on Cas' head.

"I know. I know. It's just..." Cas paused again and leant back so he could see Dean but still clutched their hands together on the sofa and wiped his face clean of tears. "It's just I wanted her to meet you so badly. She's the only person in this world other than you who cared and accepted me for me. Now she's gone. I left her with Charles, fully knowing what he does to her. I only thought about myself. It was stupid and selfish."

"Hey, Castiel. Don't think like that. You had to move away otherwise it just would've gotten worse for you. You were forced to go live with him, she had a choice. It's not your fault These things happen." Dean comforted him as Cas nodded along. "And at least we know she's in a better place now. Away from the abusive dick and happy."

Cas smiled at the thought, knowing Dean was probably right. "Yeah. I know. Thankyou." Cas said quietly and managed to keep his smile on for a little longer, causing Dean to grin back.

"Now, I'll go make some coffee or something and if you want, we can talk, and if you don't, we can do something else to get your mind off it." Dean beamed as he brought Cas' hands up to his face and kissed them gently before getting up and heading to the kicthen to make the drinks.

Cas brought his legs up onto the sofa and sat cross-legged, gazing around the room as he usually would until his eyes came across that second picture he had looked at before - the one of Mary and John - Dean's parents.

He suddenly felt immensely bad for getting so upset about Madelyn's death, well that upset in front of Dean. If Cas was this upset about someone who had been a mother figure to him for only about a year, he couldn't even imagine how Dean must've felt having both of his actual parents lost.

Before Cas could get himself anymore worked up about it, Dean walked in with a mug in each hand, little curls of fading light steam elevating from each. Cas thanked Dean as he handed Cas the drink and sat back down next to him.

"Charles called to tell me I could come to the funeral if I want. It's in a couple weeks, back in Missouri." Cas spat out quickly, not wanting to dwell on the subject any longer.

"Ok. I'll come with you. We can drive down and be back in the same day, unless you want to stay there. I don't mind." Dean offered Cas quickly.

"You don't need to do that for me Dean, I can..."

"No Cas. I know what it's like. If she was anything like a mother to you, I know exactly what it's like and you're not going through it alone. I'm coming with you." Dean insisted, interrupting Cas as he did. Cas sighed and nodded.

"Thankyou Dean."