I woke up the next morning feeling quite disoriented. I have no idea where I am and I knew that I wasn’t home either. The bed was way too comfortable. I opened my eyes to find the familiar white walls of Jessie’s spare bedroom and the events of last night suddenly flooded my thoughts. I don’t know if it was due to my tired state or what but all I know is I nearly made a huge mistake and I was not okay with that. I nearly kissed Jess last night and the last thing I needed was to ruin this friendship we had. For all I know, I’ve already made it awkward between us.
We were so physically close last night, but do I have those sort of feelings for her? There’s no denying that she’s absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Anyone could see that but I know by now that Jess is probably the sweetest person I’ve ever met. I know for a fact that I do care about her deeply and well, it’s possible that I feel more than that for her. Either way, I’m not willing to ruin what we have now for the sake of some feelings I may or may not have, especially when she doesn’t feel the same way.
I shook the thoughts out of my head and decided that I should probably get motivated for the day ahead. I know that I’m supposed to be going out to lunch with Jess and her friends but I’m not sure how much I was looking forward to that. Of course I love spending time with Jess and I’m sure her friends are great but I still can’t help but feel a bit apprehensive. Old habits die hard I suppose but I know it’s something I need to work through. If there’s anything I’ve learned in the last couple weeks it’s that shutting people out is definitely no way to live life.
As I sat up the first thing I noticed was that foggy feeling in my head of being just sick. You know that feeling you get when you just want to lie in bed for a month? It was that. My apparent cold seems to have hit me with a vengeance and it wasn’t backing down any time soon. Here’s to hoping it gets better from here because there’s no way I’m missing any work.
I got up slowly, hoping that the dizzy feeling would subside and it did somewhat as I started walking around. I walked over to the dresser in the corner of the room and noticed Jess had laid some clothes out for me to wear today, thoughtful as always. She left me a pair of black leggings along with an oversized grey sweater which seemed to be the popular look around here. I can’t say I dislike it but it’s different from what I normally wear.
I got dressed rather quickly and looked in the mirror of the en suite as I decided if it was worth the struggle to do something with my hair. It actually didn’t look too bad today considering the rest of me looked like shit. I noticed my complexion was looking a bit pale and I couldn’t figure out if it was because I was sick or if sunless London was finally having its way with me. I ran my fingers through my hair a few more times before I walked out and decided to go find Jess.
As soon as I opened the bedroom door I could immediately hear Jess’s voice floating up from what seemed to be the living room. I made my way slowly toward the stairs as I listened to her sing. I’d never heard her actually sing out loud before and I was shocked at how beautiful her voice actually was. Well, not really shocked but it was better than I had imagined it would be.
I listened to the words she was singing as I descended the stairs quietly but I didn’t recognize the song. It must be a song that she’s written herself or maybe I was just out of the loop with the whole music scene, which isn’t completely untrue.
As I rounded the corner and walked into the living room I saw Jess sitting on the floor beside her coffee table. She had a notebook in front of her which I noticed she was writing in as she sang. I tried to be as quiet as possible so I wouldn’t disturb her but of course my annoying as hell cough made it pretty obvious I was in the room. Much to my disappointment, Jess stopped singing as soon as I made a sound and looked up at me.
