“What do you mean you haven’t been completely honest with me?” I said worriedly. My heart was racing at the thought of what her answer might be. This was really the worst time to have this conversation and I suddenly regretted confronting her about all this now. This withdraw symptoms had me feeling so anxious and irritable that I had no doubt that any of the scenarios I was picturing in my head would shatter me.
“Elena, I need you to try to stay calm, okay?” Jess said gently. Her fingers started rubbing circles on the back of my hand in an attempt to be comforting. It was hardly working.
“Just tell me whatever it is that you’ve been keeping from me,” I said, struggling to keep my voice steady.
“Okay, look,” she started quietly. “A few weeks ago I started receiving these really weird letters in the mail. They were just really threatening at first and I had no idea what it was about. So I just kept them hidden away for a while. But then the texts started coming…”
“Texts? How did someone get your number?” I asked worriedly. I didn’t know where Jess was going with all this but she was scaring me. I didn’t understand how she could keep something like this from me.
“I don’t know. That’s when I called my management about it,” she said. “They got the police involved so I wasn’t overly worried for a while but then the texts started up again a few days ago. They mentioned you.”
“Me?”
“They started mentioning you and that’s when I put two and two together.”
Jess trailed off from there, like she was afraid to go on. Her gaze dropped to our hands for a few minutes and I sat there, just waiting for her to continue speaking.
“It’s Tamra. She’s been let out of jail,” she said hesitantly. That fucking name never failed to send a tightening to my chest. I don’t know what I was expecting Jess to tell me but it wasn’t this. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Elena. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Oh, you didn’t want to hurt me?” I laughed humorlessly. “So instead of telling me that we’re being threatened by the woman who raped me you make up some bullshit excuse and try leaving me here? Makes sense because that didn’t hurt me at all,” I said sarcastically, letting go of her hand then. I was pissed and I thought I had good reason to be upset with her.
“Elena, I was just trying to protect you. I didn’t think things would escalate the way they have.”
“And what did the texts and letters say?” I asked, crossing my arms as I did.
“A lot of death threats. Mostly toward me,” she sighed.
“For fuck’s sake what happened to us being honest with each other and not keeping things from one another? Because if I’m not mistaken, keeping secrets is what fucked everything up in the first place,” I raged, getting up from the bed to pace the floor.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I know I fucked up and I know I was wrong to not tell you. What more do you want from me?” she said, sounding nearly on the brink of tears. I, however, was way too fired up to listen.
“I can’t believe you could be such a hypocrite, Jessie!” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. I saw Jess’s jaw visibly clench as she registered what I had just said.
“I don’t ever want to hear you call me ‘Jessie’ again. Fuck you, I’m going for a walk,” she said in a low voice. I couldn’t do anything but stare as I watched her stand up and leave the room. I didn’t even bother going after her. Instead, I sat back down on the bed with my head in my hands trying to get a handle on everything I was just told. Jess and I were finally perfect again and this bitch has to come back and fuck it all up. It was like I’d never be able to escape her. It was impossible.
