I must have somehow fallen asleep because next thing I knew I woke up to a still dark room. The digital clock next to the bed cast a red glow through the room and said that it was just going on four in the morning. It was a rare thing for me to sleep through the night these days so it was hardly surprising. I closed my eyes again, willing myself to go back to sleep when I noticed the sound of quiet breathing behind me.
I turned over to see Jess’s sleeping form right on the edge of the bed. I hadn’t even heard her come in tonight and although I was still a bit angry about earlier, my heart melted at the sight of her. As my eyes adjusted I could just make out her features lit up by the glowing digital clock. Honestly, I don’t even think I could stay mad at her at this point. I know that she loves me and that alone is the reason she brought up the subject of speaking to a psychiatrist.
I moved over slowly so that I wouldn’t jostle her, and carefully pulled Jess toward me. She must have been in a dead sleep because all she did was fidget slightly as I held her against me. Her breathing stayed slow and even, as she unconsciously wrapped her own arms around me. I was instantly flooded with this feeling of security but I also felt guilt. I knew I had overreacted earlier and that it was mostly my fault that we argued. I could hardly blame her for retaliating like she did, however hurtful it may have been at the time.
I very lightly kissed her forehead and snuggled into her, hoping that now I could get a bit more sleep. I was so exhausted I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to sleep. I can’t even remember the last time I had a proper night’s rest.
I laid there for what seemed like forever, focusing on the sound of Jess’s steady breathing, but try as I may, I could not make myself fall asleep. When I opened my eyes again I noticed that the room was now slightly lit by the rising sun. Looks like this would be another mostly sleepless night.
I sighed out and idly played with Jess’s hair while I waited for her to wake up. She was always an early riser and I expect today to be no different. Mostly I just wanted to talk to her about last night. I wanted to apologize for being a complete bitch more or less. I had to consider that everything has been hard on her as well as me and I couldn’t just disregard her feelings.
Sometime later, Jess finally started to stir a bit. I traced the side of her face gently with my fingers in an attempt to wake her slowly. I felt her arms tighten around my waist as her eyelids fluttered slightly before opening.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I whispered, determined to get a smile out of her. Which of course I did much to my delight.
“Isn’t that a song?” she said sleepily as she pressed her face into my neck.
“Yes it is. I never struck you for a country music type of girl,” I laughed. I heard her scoff slightly before I felt her lips press to my neck a few times. “You’re cuddly this morning,” I mused.
“I’m always cuddly,” she mumbled. I felt her tighten her arms around me again before her tone suddenly fell serious. “Hey, about last night. I’m sorry about bringing all that up.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I overreacted and I shouldn’t have,” I said as she pulled away slightly so that we could see each other. “But you were right and I promise I’ll think about seeing someone, okay?”
She didn’t answer me but instead pressed her lips onto mine. The butterflies in my stomach suddenly came alive as my fingers tangled in Jess’s hair. I felt her fingers trace softly up and down my sides until her hand slipped under my shirt slightly. That’s where she stopped, much to my disappointment.
“So I was thinking,” she said in between kisses.
“Hmm? That’s a dangerous sign,” I joked, earning a hard smack on the arm.
