It’s currently Friday night and all I know right now is that I need my Jess back. I honestly don’t know how I’ve coped through this week without having some sort of emotional breakdown. Or maybe I have already.
Things have gotten worse at work. So much worse. I was at Tamra’s every whim and she showed me absolutely no mercy. She’s violated and abused me to the point where I’ve felt completely shattered. I thought I’d have found a way out by now. I didn’t want this but it was like she’d broken my entire spirit. I felt dead inside.
Jess and I haven’t spoken since the morning she left. We sent the odd text to one another but with the time difference and our schedules it was just impossible to catch each other. I knew that I needed to tell her when she got back. There was no other way out of this. I thought I could fix this on my own but I was now in deeper shit than I could possibly have imagined.
Even outside of work I felt like I couldn’t escape that absolute bitch. I couldn’t focus on anything. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. I’ve had nightmares every single night and it was quickly taking its toll. I’ve never felt like this before in my life. Not when my parents started to slowly disown me. Not when Grace died. Not even when I left home to be alone here.
I curled myself up in bed tighter as I fought off the now frequent feelings of panic. I tried to keep my breathing slow and steady. I knew I just needed to try to avert my thoughts elsewhere. But it was so hard when all I could feel was my heart threatening to explode.
I was startled suddenly as the sound of my phone going off on the bed next to me. Desperate to find a distraction, I grabbed it and opened the new text from Jess.
‘Hi, baby. I feel like we haven’t talked in so long and I miss you so so much. I love you and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. xx’
Just seeing that text from Jess made me feel somewhat better. I noticed it was now two in the morning. Without thinking anything of it, I hit the call button next to Jess’s name. I just needed to speak to her.
“Hi, angel,” Jess answered on the first ring. “What are you doing up so late?”
I didn’t say anything right away. Just hearing her voice made me feel a million times better.
“Elena? You there?”
“Yeah, sorry,” I said, suddenly finding my voice. “I just…I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Jess didn’t say anything for a minute and I thought for a second that I’d lost her but I suddenly heard her sniffling over the phone. Shit, I didn’t want her to cry.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I told her as I felt tears of my own starting to form.
“I’m not crying,” she said even though her voice broke through that sentence. Her horrible attempt at lying caused me to laugh a bit.
“Good, because I’m not crying either.” I heard her laugh just as I had at my obvious lie. “I’ve missed you.” I said quietly.
“I’ve missed you too. But I’ll be getting on the plane in about half an hour and I’ll be with you again in the morning,” she told me.
“I can’t wait,” I said truthfully. I heard someone speaking to Jess in the background for a moment.
“I have to go now, baby but I’ll call you as soon as I land tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay. I love you, Jess.”
“I love you too.”
I ended the call and squeezed my eyes shut. I just needed this night to end. I was almost afraid to fall asleep for fear of having a nightmare but I was so tired. I tried to keep Jess’s voice ringing through my mind as I drifted off. Just one more night, Elena. Just one more.
