Jess’s voice rang through loud and clear as she was singing the song just for me. Her eyes never left mine through the entire song and for those three minutes or so, it felt like we were the only two people in that crowded room. Out of everything I expected tonight, I surely didn’t expect any of this. As the last note was sung the only thing I could think was how much I actually love Jess. I’ve said it so much in my mind but I feel like I fall in love with her more and more every day, as cliché as that sounds.
Screams erupted from the crowd as the music stopped and I found that neither me nor Jess could stop smiling. I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek but was surprised when she turned her head at the last second so that I’d catch her lips. The crowd just got even louder from there causing both of us to smile, effectively breaking the kiss after only a few seconds. I felt like I was on top of the world right now and I can imagine that Jess felt the same.
Next thing I knew, Jess had closed the show and I was being led backstage toward her dressing room. As soon as we entered the room she shut the door and looked at me with a worrisome look on her face. That was the exact opposite of what I was expecting and I looked at her, confused.
“I’m so sorry, Elena. I don’t know what came over me,” she said quickly.
“Wait, what? What are you sorry for?” I asked incredulously. She looked almost in tears and I couldn’t even imagine what she thought she had done wrong.
“Putting you out there like that,” she said tiredly. “I didn’t even ask you beforehand and I just didn’t think.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I stopped her before she could continue. I could already tell that she was about to get worked up over nothing which she often seems to do. “I’m not angry at you. Jess, I love you and I’d stand in front of the entire world with you. I don’t mind that people know about us and see us together. It doesn’t bother me.”
“Really?” she said, a smile already forming on her face. “You promise it was okay?”
“Yes, I promise. Although we may have to talk about you posting pictures of me while I’m asleep on Instagram,” I added jokingly.
“What,” her faced dropped as she realized she’d been caught.
“Yeah your fans told on you,” I laughed. “Seriously though, are we going home now?”
I was loving the night out, don’t get me wrong. But I was tired as hell. Instead of answering me though, Jess just kept staring at me with this weird look on her face, like I’d suddenly sprouted a second head or some shit. Like what the hell?
“What? What did I say?”
“You called it home,” she said, smiling as big as ever.
“Oh,” I said, realizing what I actually said. It felt right though. Just another thing that has finally clicked into place in my life. “All right well, let’s go home.”
An hour later, Jess and I were finally home and I was currently in our en suite bathroom getting ready for bed. I was having such a good day in comparison to the last month or so that I just didn’t want it to end. Having PTSD was really getting to me and I knew that I needed to not take the good days for granted.
I looked down at the pill bottles next to the sink just as I had early this morning. The idea of not taking my sleeping pill this time did briefly cross my mind but I thought better of it. I knew tomorrow would be moving in day for me since it was the only day off Jess had for a while and the last thing I needed was to be dead on my feet. I took the orange pill and hurried along with my routine knowing that I’d be out within fifteen minutes.
