“I just didn’t feel it, Elena. Now please let me sleep for a little while,” she sighed, sounding slightly frustrated. Hmm.
I didn’t press the matter after that. I knew Jess well enough anyway that if I kept prodding her while she needed sleep she would just get agitated with me. So I ate my food quietly and waited for a nurse to walk in to do Jess’s hourly check-up before I’d bring up any of my concerns.
It was about forty-five minutes later when one of the nurses came in to see how Jess was doing. Jess was still sleeping peacefully which was good. I knew sleep would only help her heal and hopefully allow us to go home sooner. I turned to the nurse just as she was adjusting something on Jess’s IV line.
“Is there any way you could get the doctor to come in here any time soon? I have a concern I need to ask him about,” I said.
“Yes ma’am, I can sure do that. Is there something wrong?” she asked.
“I’m not sure but earlier I’d dropped something on Jess’s leg and she never felt it. It’s just got me really worried,” I told her. The nurse nodded and told me she’d get him in here right away which I appreciated. She told me to just wake Jess up if I could as they’d need to do a few tests while she was awake. I just didn’t have a good feeling about any of this at all.
“Jess? Jess, you need to wake up,” I said, caressing her arm gently as I eased her awake.
“What is it?” she croaked as she opened her eyes. “I’m so tired,” she sighed. I suddenly felt awful about waking her up so soon but I really needed her checked out or I’d worry myself to death.
“I know. I’m sorry,” I said, stroking her hair away from her face carefully. “The doctor is coming to do a few tests and you needed to be awake when he got here.”
She simply nodded and reached for my hand. Our fingers linked together and she rested our joined hands on her stomach. I leaned over and very gently touched my lips to hers. I heard the beeping on Jess’s heart monitor quicken slightly and I smirked against her lips before pulling away.
“You’re cute,” I teased her. I could see a blush rising in her cheeks and I was beyond amused at this point.
“I can’t help what my heart feels,” she said seriously. I felt tears prick my eyes immediately when she said that. The emotions that this woman could make me feel were just crazy.
“I love you,” I said as I kissed her one more time before the doctor walked in then.
“I’ve been told there’s a concern about lack of feeling in the legs?” he said as he walked over to the side of Jess’s bed that was opposite me. Jess glanced at me, confused at first but it seemed to click in her head what he was talking about. I went ahead and explained to the doctor what had happened and with that he began his tests.
“All right, Jessica, I’ll just need you to tell me if you feel pressure each time I apply it to different parts of your leg and we’ll go from there. Just look up at the ceiling and tell me a yes or no,” he explained as he picked up a dull metal object. He pressed the point of it to the bottom of Jess’s bare foot first and confirmed that she could feel it. As he moved higher up her leg, I was starting to feel a bit better now. Jess could feel everything which was great.
He moved over to her other leg then. I wasn’t very concerned at this point but when he pressed into the bottom of that foot, Jess didn’t say anything. I watched her face as he did so and there was no indication that she felt anything. Shit.
The doctor continued moving up her leg and once he hit above her knee, Jess confirmed that she felt that. I frowned and looked over at the doctor who was writing something down in Jess’s file. He then told her to look down and watch as he touched the bottom of that same foot again. I saw her eyebrows furrow when she realized that she felt no sensation.
“But I could feel everything on the other leg,” she said, sounding slightly panicked. “What’s this mean?” My heart was racing as I wondered the same thing. What did this mean for her?
“Partial paralysis does occur in accident victims. We’ll have to take additional x-rays to see the cause of it and whether it’s permanent or not. I’ll have you taken back within the next hour and we’ll have answers for you afterward,” the doctor explained.
“Okay,” Jess sighed, sounding defeated. After the doctor left nothing was really said between us. Jess just laid there and stared off into space. The glazed over look in her eyes told me that she was miles away in her thoughts. I was hurting for her. There was no doubt about it. I couldn’t even imagine how she was feeling right now. How do you even take news like that? It was Jess’s voice that brought me out of my thoughts.
“You don’t have to stay with me, you know,” she said quietly.
“What?” I asked, confused. I could see tears building up in her eyes but they remained unfallen as of yet.
“I said, you don’t have to stay with me. I’d understand if you didn’t want to deal with all this.”
“All this? Jess you’re just hurt. You’re going to get better and then we can go on like we have been,” I told her as calmly as possible. I wasn’t going to get angry at her for suggesting I wouldn’t be able to help her through this. I knew she wouldn’t be thinking clearly at the moment and honestly it was to be expected.
“Yeah, I’m hurt. And what’s going to happen if I don’t heal? What if my leg stays like this and I can’t walk? How am I supposed to just expect you to drop everything to take care of me? That’s not fair on you, Elena.”
“We don’t know the extent of your injuries yet, Jess. What if your leg does get better? And even if it doesn’t, I’m not going anywhere. I would never, ever leave you like that. What about what happened a few months ago? Look at all the things you went through with me. I checked out of life completely and you stayed right here with me because you love me. Now I’m staying right here with you because I love you. I would spend the rest of my life taking care of you if it meant we could stay together.”
The tears had spilled over before I even finished speaking and the rise and fall of Jess’s chest increased dramatically as sobs wracked through her body. I moved my arm so that it was draped across her hips in an attempt to hold her without going anywhere near her ribs. My free hand grasped hers as I tried to shush her.
“I fucked up so badly,” she stuttered through her tears. “How can you still love me after all this?”
“I can’t help what my heart feels.”
A/N There's a picture of what Elena looks like over in the sidebar thingy. I realize you all hate me and don't love me anymore but it's okay because I made myself cry last night over this and now I hate myself bye.
