Typical Blogger//Joe Sugg

Chapter 49

Olivia's Pov

-7 weeks later-

I had finally got my cast removed off of my leg and could walk on it pretty much normally. My stitches had been taken out but the doctors said there is always going to be a scar there. My body was still bruised and I still had many cuts covering my body. I had tried to spend most of my recovery inside however Joe insisted that I should go out every day or every two days.

He has been staying with me a lot recently and I see him every day. He doesn't always spend the night and to be truthful the nights I don't spend with him, I can't go to sleep. I stay up all night worried and scared for my own health and well being. I'm still petrified and I still jump whenever I hear a car door slam. I jump when Joe places his hand on my back and I get scared when I can hear someone walking closely behind me. It's not normal and I'm scared.

Physically I'm getting better. Mentally and emotionally I haven't improved one bit. I have all these emotions build up inside of me that I'm scared that one day I'm just going to explode and push all my loved ones away. These days I don't really like talking, short sentence and nodding now and then. I do feel sorry for Joe. 7 weeks he's looked after me and I've barely had a proper conversation with him.

"I'm just going to go to the toilet ok"

Joe said. I removed myself from him and watched as he got up and started to walk downstairs. I looked around the room and there it was the big brown box in the corner of the room. I climbed off of the sofa and walked over to it. I traced my fingers over the cardboard and started to open it up. Then that's when it happened.

Joe's Pov

I was in Liv's toilet washing my hands when all of a sudden I heard a loud crash and Liv screaming.

"LIV!"

I shouted. No reply. The crashing and banging repeated and all I could hear was Liv shouting and screaming. I ran up the stairs to find her with the box that was delivered the other day. It was filled with parts to build up the baby's cot and wardrobe. She had lost it. She was throwing the parts across the room screaming and crying not caring what she was breaking in the process.

"Come on Liv, come here"

I said trying to comfort her

"NO"

She cried throwing the piece that was in her hand

"It's all going to be okay Liv"

"No it's not"

She replied still crying. I walked over to her and cradled her, slowly bringing her down to the floor. She cried into my chest and started muttering.

"It's not fair"

"I just want to my baby"

I stroked her hair trying to calm her down. I kissed the top of her head whilst wrapping my arms around her. It was hard for her and I understood that. I just needed to realise that it's going to take her a while to recover.

---------------------------------------------

"Here you go Liv"

I said passing her the glass of water.

"Thanks"

She muttered taking it from me. She was sitting on her bed. She had calmed down for now but was still pretty emotional.

"Liv?"

"Yeah"

"I want to know how you feel"

She looked away

"I'm being serious Liv. I want to know what's going on in your head. I don't care if you cry, I don't care if you get angry. I just want to know what your feeling"

"You want to know what I'm feeling"

I nodded

"I feel like absolute fucking shit. I have lost out baby. I was a shit mother. The baby wasn't even here and I fucking ruined it's life. The baby was the only thing I had left. When you weren't there the baby was the only thing that got me through. Knowing that soon I would be a mum and I would have someone who loved me and cared for me was amazing because you at that moment in time didn't. And then I went and ruined it all. I thought about myself. Why did I need that fucking milk. Why didn't I stay home and look after my baby. Why didn't I go to my apartment and get the milk that was in my fridge. Because it fricking sucks knowing that your the reason that your child isn't alive"

Tears were streaming down her face as she poured out her emotions to me. My eyes were brimming with tears as I watched her tear herself apart bit by bit until there was nothing left there.

"Liv I love you ok and none of this is your fault. Everything in life happens for a reason and I don't think there is anything that you could of done to stop it. You are beautiful and amazing and you are and will be an amazing mother."

She nodded. I moved closer towards her and enveloped her into a hug. I kissed her. With my arms still wrapped around her, we layed down on the bed and she rested her head on my chest.

"Liv"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what happened to you and I understand if you don't want to tell me. But what I do know is that he hurt you emotionally and physically. It must be so hard for you and I get that but you need to start looking after and loving yourself again. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you and I love every single part of you but if you look at you your only skin and bones. I'm scared that if you don't eat, you'll hurt yourself even more meaning I'll lose you once again."

She nodded against my chest

"Promise me you'll start eating"

"I promise"

I heard her mutter.

Word Count:974

Whoo! Such a deep and heartwarming chapter. Olivia is broken. But I'm going to slowly try and fix her. Thank you all so much for reading xx

Don't be afraid to comment or vote and I'll see you soon with another chapter xxx