And Through It All

01.

Saje & her mutha Nicki in mm .

Saje

I saw my mother give her body to a man she didn't even know didn't even love like that my eyes swallowed the whole of him and her and all that it meant .

to know who I came from shook loose her skin the last time a lover begged for me beautiful .

I was still in the bathroom going on 8:00 in the mornings . I didn't wanna get out , I felt dirty .

"Bébé, sors de là. Vous avez l'école,"
(Baby , come out of there . You have school ,)
Mum knocked on the door for some off reason speaking her native tongue .

I stayed silent , scrubbing my skin trying to purify myself . I began speaking the tongues I said before myself all morning .

" us women; merely second opinion but first appetite are taught early how to restrain the wolves, when the men converge .

All gnawing teeth and salivating fangs these insatiable men who snarl us out of our lineage sabertooth non-believers who cannot consider how loud we can be how brass and trombone this world has played us

There is no place here to unravel yourself for them bow your head
unlearn your name for those of us
who introduce the bold- face of mouth become a whore's tooth become agile breast become unbounded thighs . " I ranted over and over into a soft whisper trying to feel clean again .

"Saje! , Je t'envoie pour aller vivre avec ton papa, tu m'entends!"
(Saje ! , Im sending you to go live with your daddy ,ya hear me !")

she banged on the door .

I stopped what I was doing and took in a deep breather before I just blew up , why was she acting so hateful towards me , everything started to click to me , my mother was an hoe , daddy was her pimp . Im a bastard child .

I came out of the bathroom wrapped around with a towel .

'' You send me with him , imma fuck you up and run the fuck away , '' I said walking away .

'' You think I want to give you away ? its either my life or yours , ''
I went into my room getting my things I was taking with me , I couldn't believe she put my life on the line for her , I was nothing but so furious with her , I wanted to whoop her ass but I would never raise my hands to my mother under any circumstances .

'' You not going anywhere little girl , '' she stood in the door way .

'' Nicki , move ! I'm not in the mood to play with your ass , '' I got dress putting on some simple clothing and grabbing my things .

'' What am I gone do with out you , '' she started to cry .

'' Dont give me no sobb ass story , I dont give a fuck , '' I was protecting myself from her and this nasty ass world now .

'' Saje, please baby . I love you . What if he comes back looking for you ? '' she was only pissing me off .

'' Bitch do you hear yo'self , move , I dont give a fuck if he's not my problem , '' I bumped passed her hitting her shoulder .

I didn't have nowhere to go but I know I was just going to go and find me a safe place . I would also would be finding me a job which I was having no trouble to do , I walked out the house like I was grown so now I have responsible to take care of myself like I'm grown .

Before I knew it I was hit with glass in the back of my head , it shattered everywhere leaving me to bleed . I was going to get angry and fight back , I continued to walk out , I was nothing but hurt , betrayed and sad .

'' FUCK YOU SAJE ! '' she said as I walked down the street .

I didn't know where I was going but if god gave me legs I was going to use them to walk and find me a place to go for the time being .

I HOPE YALL ENJOYED THIS ,

Yess , Iam sorry that its short . I wanna keep it that way .