In Love With An Outlaw

How Do I Feel?

      The show tonight in Augusta was amazing, I loved it ( as always). It was great to spend sometime with my friends, even though I wasn't feeling so good. I am feeling a little better than I was, but I am going back to LA to the doctor. I just want to make sure that it's nothing major, plus I don't want to get the guys sick if it is a stomach bug.

      I hope I'm able to go back on tour with them soon.

-A week later-

      I missed a week of the tour, man. Luckily it was only 3 shows, but still that's 3 shows too many for me. I'm going to meet up with the guys in Minneapolis,MN today. Hopefully I can talk fast and get Ash into taking me to the mall tomorrow. I wish that I didn't have to get up at 6 am to fly, but it will be worth it to see Ash again. :)

      I can't wait to see him again, I hate being away from him for any length of time. It's going to be twice as bad when he goes on tour without me.

      I don't know how to tell him that, in fact, I am pregnant, 3 weeks. I won't be able to tour that much with him and the guys for a while.

     My friends called me after I got back to LA to see how I was feeling. Will, I told them the news, they were shocked at first, but was happy about it. I'm just worried about how Ash is going to react, I hope he takes the news well.

      I thought that it would be a good idea to go to the mall tomorrow and tell him there, but I'm kind of rethinking the idea. I just don't want him to freak out or anything. Oh man, I hope like crazy this doesn't make him brake up  with me. I'm just afraid of losing him forever. If he does happen to brake up with me because of it, than it wasn't meant to be. Even though I so wasn't it to work out.

-A few hours later-

      I finally get to see Ash for a little while before sound check. I hope I can wait to tell him about everything.I just don't want him to have a bad show and the others blame me for it. I walked into the arena and I see Ash. I wave to him and smiled. YAY! There's my man. :)

      Ash- Hey babe! :) (giving me a hug and a kiss) How are you feeling?

      Babe, man, I'm a lot more nervous now that he said that. But I tried not to let him know that.

      Me- I'm feeling better, just glad to be back with you. I've missed you this past week. :)

      Ash- I've missed you so much. I hope that I don't have to do that again anytime soon.

      If he only knew the truth than he wouldn't say half of this stuff.

      Me- Since we have the day off tomorrow, can we go to the mall?

      Ash- I don't see why we can't. Sure. :) But there is one thing I don't get though, you normally don't want to go to the mall with me.

      Me-Will this time I do. :)

      Ash- I still think you're up to something, but ok. Oh, by the way, I got this strange text earlier.

      He pulls his phone out and showed me the text. It just said Congrats. Than I recognized the number. Oh shit, Des texted him that not thinking that Ash didn't know yet. I had a shocked and panicked look on my face and Ash knew something was up. But it was time for sound check, so I could talk to Des for a minute.

      Ash- It's time for sound check, we'll talk later, ok?

      Me- Ok, later. :)

      I called Des and asked him what the hell he was think when he did that. He told me he thought that I was going to call and tell Ash that over the phone. The little dork. I told him that I haven't told Ash yet and that I was going to have to tell him later tonight instead of tomorrow like I had planned. Des told me that he was sorry, be I didn't want to hear it and told him I had to go, than hung up on him. I have never done that to Des, but this time, it's going to take me a while to trust him again.

      After sound check Andy and CC came over and gave me a hug. CC picked me up off the ground with the hug he gave me, but I missed that this past week. Besides it'll be a while before he's able to do that again. They both knew something was up.

      Andy- What's going on? First, Ash gets a crazy text and you're not acting like your normally self. Spill it.

      Me- I haven't told Ash yet, because I haven't figured out how to tell him yet. But I'm pregnant, Des was the one that texted Ash that. He thought that Ash knew already.

      Andy and CC's mouths dropped, they were in shock.

      Andy- How far along are you?

      Me- 3 weeks.

      CC- When are you going to tell him?

       Me (almost crying)- I don't know when it's ever a good time to tell Ash anything like this.

       Jinxx and Jake seen me start to tear up and asked what CC did to make me cry.

       Me- CC didn't do a thing. (I gave CC another hug) It's something that I have to tell Ash.

       Jinxx and Jake (in unison) - What?

       Me-I'm pregnant.

       Jake- What? When are you going to tell him?

       Me- Yeah. 3 weeks. :) Soon, but I don't know how soon.

      Jinxx- How about in the dressing room, will all be there.

      Me- To be honest guys, I'm scared to death right now.

      Andy- Don't worry, we're here for you. :)

     How did I become friends with such amazing men. :)