In Love With An Outlaw

One Heartbeat

       While I waited for Ash to call or come home from the studio, I sit on the couch with Killer and Tokyo and thought about how I was going to tell Ash the news. Then my phone rings, I thought it was Ash, but it wasn't, it was Andy's dad, Chris. he was trying to get ahold of Andy. I told him that Andy was probable recording vocals for the new cd, I told him that I would text him and tell him to call him. He asked me what was wrong, that I wasn't my normal self. I told him what happened and that I didn't know how to tell Ash. Him told me just to tell him. I just don't want him to freak out or have a heart attack, but I know he will defiantly have a broken heart. I told Chris thanks for the advise. He's really cool. I sent the text to Andy and wondered if Ash was going to call or just show up at home.

-30 minutes later-

        Ash is here, I still not sure on how I'm going to tell him the news, but here goes nothing. It's better that he finds it out from me rather than anyone else.

        Me-Ash, I have to tell you something, but I don't how to tell you or how you will react.

        Ash (sitting next to me)- Just say it. It can't be that bad, can it?

        Me (starting to cry again)- We've lost one of the babies.

        I couldn't stop crying, then I looked at Ash, he was crying too. I didn't think that I would see him cry like that, but I would worry if he didn't react like that. I gave him a hug.

       Me (still crying)- At least we still have two of them.

       Ash- Yeah. (wiping the tears from his eyes.) But I wish we could've had them all.

       Me- I know, but it just wasn't meant to be right now.

       Ash- How can you stay so positive through all of this stuff?

       Me- I honestly don't know. I wanted all of them too, but I don't know what it is. It just fells like we're not meant to have them all right now. I don't know how else to explain it.

       Ash- Wow, you've thought about this, huh?

       Me- Yeah. (wiping the tears away) I've had some time to think about it while I was waiting on you.

       Ash- Why didn't you call or text me, babe?

       Me- You were at the studio, I didn't want to interrupt you from recording.

       Ash- When it comes to stuff like this, don't wait to tell me, ok?

       Me- Ok. (wiping away more tears)

       I gave Ash a hug and a kiss.

       We set on the couch and watched movies. Ash had his arm around me and I had my head on his shoulder.

        Before we knew it, it was 1:00 in the morning. Ash had to get some sleep and get up at 9 to be at the studio by 10. I had to be at Sunset by 10 in the morning too, so that worked out ok.

- The next day / at Sunset Tattoo-

         I'm surprised that I could actually keep focused today after the drama yesterday.

         The guys at the shop really haven't treated me any different than before, except letting me rest a little bit more. Those guys are class acts, my other family. A few of the guys still play a version of the "who farted?" game. Sadly, they blame me for a few of them, but I find a way of paying them back for it though. :)

- A few hours later. -

           I was looking on Pop Evil's Facebook page at the tour dates and seen that they are going to be in L.A. in August. I can't wait to go to that show. :)

           I can't wait to see all of them again.

           I just hope nothing happens betweens now and then.