In Love With An Outlaw

Back To The Heart

-2 months later-

      So far so good on Ash keeping his promise on everything. So I'm thinking that I might move back in with him. I'm still just thinking about it thought. I just don't want to go through moving again, if I have to. I don't think I will have that problem though, but you never know.

-4 months later-

      Will Ash is still keeping his promise, but I caught him looking at another girl. I almost called everything off again than, strike 1, this time around.

       I miss my outlaw, the men that I first met, the guy I fell in love with. I also miss the guy he used to be. The one that sent me roses for no reason, called me and said he had a surprise for me, things like that. I also miss him calling me just to say that he loved me. He does that some now, but not like he used to do. Maybe I shouldn't of taken him back. I just don't want to have any regrets.

-2 days later-

       Oh shit, here we go again.The rumors about Ash and his ex are coming back again. I thought that all of this shit was behind us.Now this. Someone is saying that he cheated on me with her again and had proof, I've seen the proof. This is the last straw. I can't wait to see how he will try to explain this away.

-An hour later-

       Ash is here, oh I can't wait to hear what he has to say now and yes I am pissed the hell off at him right now.

       Me- Ash, we need to talk now.

       Ash- Well, can't I get a kiss and see the girls first?

       Me- That's a hell no on the kiss, cause I don't know where those lips have been and the girls are not here, they're with Desi and Kraven. I don't want them to be here for this shit, again.

      Ash- What in the hell is going on here? The last time that I've seen you this pissed off is when I cheated on you. Oh shit! What do you have now and what is the time stamp on it?

      Me- You and your ex, 2 days ago.

      Ash- No excuses. Yes I seen her then and yes we talked, that's it.

      Me- Ash, come on, it's you we're talking about here. If you 2 did something, tell me now, so I won't find out about it later. Because you know I will.

       Ash- Shit, ok, yes something happened between us.

       Me- Ok, now what?

       Ash- I'm out of chances and I have to stay sober so I can see my daughters.

       Me- Wow, never thought that I would ever hear you say that.

       Ash- What?

       Me- Sober and daughters... Oh if you start dating again, don't date someone who hates kids and I can't stand. If I have a problem with someone you will know it.

       I lightly elbow him in the ribs and he smiles for a few seconds.

       Ash- So it's really over this time? Man this sucks.

       Me- Yes it's over and yes it does suck.

       Ash- Oh, on the whole dating thing, same goes for you too.

       I kind of smiled at him.

       Me- Ok.

        I'm so glad that I didn't move back in with him after all of this shit that came out.I don't know what is going to happened between us anymore. I need some help, someone to talk to.

- Later that night-

         I got on Facebook for a while tonight. I seen that Dave was on and I asked him if we could video chat for a while. When Dave first got on, all of the guys had to say hi and add their two cents in about how Ash should treat me. I told them about what happened between Ash and I and that it was officially over for good this time. They were actually shocked that I took him back to start with. The guys are so cool and so nice. I just wish that they weren't on tour right now so that I could hang out with them for a while. I miss those guys.

- The next day-

           Ash was right on time to pick up the girls to take them to the studio with him for a while. Plus his is still sober, we'll see how long this will last.

           I don't know hoe  I'm going to make it without the girls when I get off work. I'm just so used to them being at home when I get there. I hope that this can last though. They need him in their lives and he's trying.

            I'm not dating anyone right now, but who knows what will happen tomorrow or next week. I like someone, but I don't know if they feel the same way about me. Plus I'm too scared to ask them, I'm afraid it would be the whole ash thing all over again. I don't want to risk ruining our friendship ether right now.

             I would love it if he did feel the same way about me. He is sweet, loves kids, he even has two of his own, kind, caring, always listens to me when I have a problem, and willing to talk to me about it, man, he sounds perfect.