In Love With An Outlaw

Lies

-The next day-

      Ash- Well did you talk to Dave yet or not?

      Me- No, I didn't. And I'm not going to ether. That's the least of my worries right now.

      If Ash only knew a that second what I did, he would be soo sorry. I know that when I was pregnant with the twins that he cheated on me with one of his exes and went to strip clubs. How the hell can he do this?

      Me- Do you have anything you want to tell me or admit to me? And don't lie to me!

      Ash- What the hell are you talking about?

      Me- I found t about you and your ex and the strip clubs to on top of that. What the hell?

      Ash- Oh shit! Who told you that shit?!

      Me- Why do you want to know that for?!

      Ash- So I can kick their ass!!

      Me- Ash, you can't just go around kicking people's ass!! I've seen the pics and the videos of you with your ex, some with the strip clubs. It's to the point were I'm starting not to trust you anymore. I love you, but I can't take you doing this shit.

      Ash- So, are you saying it's over?

      Me- Not yet, I'm just... I just don't know what to do right now.

      Ash- Fine, I'll go stay with Christian for a few days. I love you, that will never change, you know that right?

      Me- I know, I love you too and that will never change, but I don't think that's enough to keep us together right now.

      Ash- Yeah, I'll see you in a few days to talk about what you want to do.

      Me- (almost crying) Ok, see you then.

      After I closed the door, I couldn't stop myself, I started crying. I love Ash so much, but I can't stand him cheating on me ether.

       I spent the whole night thinking about what I was going to do and everything else.

-The next morning-

       I called Des and had him to come over and spend some time with me. We both had the day off so that helped alot.

       Me- Desi, what am I going to do about this whole Ash thing? I mean, he cheated on me.

       Des- Do you love Ash?

       Me- Yes, but I can't get over what he did. He cheated on me when I was pregnant. There is no getting over that.

       Des- Ok, do you love Dave?

       Me- Yes, I do. He is amazing. I would love to try and be with him, but not right now. I think that I can work things out with Ash. I'm just not sure how though.

       Des- Man, it sucks that this is happening to you. I just wish that I could tell you what to do or wave a magic wand or something to make it better.

        Me- I know. I wish that you could too. It would make things so much more easier. Then I wouldn't have this problem. I'm going to have to brake someone's heart over this. I hope that I can make the right choice here.

         Des- I hope that you can too, honey.  This sucks big time. (he gave me a big hug) Now, enough of this stuff, where are the girls? I want to see those cute little angels.

          I took Des into the girls room so he could see them. He loves the girls to death. I hope like hell that Ash and I can work this out. I mean, yes he lied, yes he cheated, and didn't admit it to my face. That's what really hurt. Why couldn't he just come out and say "Yes I did it." or something like that. It wouldn't of hurt so bad if he would of done that. I would have thought about taking him back then, but he didn't do shit, except for threaten to kick someone's ass. That's is what is killing me here, is that man's temper. He can't just go around doing that and get by with it. He made a mistake, now he has to deal with it. I'm done, I wash my hands clean of it all. Yes, I would love for the girls to be around their father all the tim, but that's not going to work. I can't believe it's over just like that. Man, what happened to the times before he cheated, the times where we were madly in love. I would love to have that back, but I don't think I could trust him like that again, fully anyway.

            Me- Desi, do you know where I can find an apartment to get? I'm moving the girls and I out of here, ASAP!

            Des- Are you sure about this?

            Me- Yeah, I'm as sure as I'll ever be.