Damaged

Chapter 19 (part 1 of 2)

**Jax's POV**

It was about three minutes after the call. Then the therapist asked me if I was okay. I just nodded. I missed him to much. But I knew I had to get better. "You miss home. Don't you?" My therapist asked me. I nodded once again. I guess hearing Xavier's voice again made me scared to talk. "Best Friend?" He put his palm on my shoulder. "I  really don't even know." I mumbled. I looked over. I was in tears. 

As he saw me crying all he did was hug me. I guess of pity. Or did he actually car about my feelings. What was I doing here. I always forget. But after awhile it comes all back. "I want to go home." Tears formed an ocean. I just sobbed the line over and over though. But the therapist didn't let go of me. This is what I needed here. Not more abuse.

"How do you feel Jax?" He walked away slowly. He looked suspicious in my point of view. "I feel sad. Broken. Damaged even." I wiped the tears off my face but still sobbed. "How do you feel damaged?" I am guessing it's the first time he hears that phrase. "many bad things happened and I guess they haunt me every day. Like earlier a voice said I was worthless. And anything that happens to people I love it is my fault." I began looking at him. All I wish is to go home.

"Well do you feel like that at this exact moment?" I really didn't. I guess he helped me understand and to confess. "Not really. I feel good about myself." A confident began overtaking my voice. Was I alright? 

"Did you help me confess and to open up about how I feel?" he looked at me. "That is the same thing. But yes." He nodded. I was happy. I really was getting better. "Well how would you like to know some thing nice." I nodded like a little kid. "You are going home!" He opened and my mom walked in. I broke into joyful tears. "Mom!" I ran into her arms. She squeezed me hard. Was I a happy child at this moment. But would life take it again?

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As I walked into my new house. The one we moved into. I was glad to actually be there. Unlike the first day. But I was missing something. Loren. I turned over and asked my mom were she was. "She is at school." We entered school already. I've been there for a long time then. "You mean I was in that rehab center for about a month?" All she did was nod. A month of my life as spent there. At least I'm glad that I am okay. 

I walked upstairs. But there was something weird. I heared voices. I walked slowly to the door. It sounded like one person to me. "Hello." I whispered into the inside of my room. "Jax! How you been?" Zander stood in front of me. I looked at him in a rude way. "Hey I was looking around and I saw you didn't have our picture of when we went to Disney Land. Were is it I want to see it." He said as if we were still friends. But I walked over to go get the box with the pictures I really didn't want to see.

I dug thru the unwanted picture box. But till know I just noticed they were mostly embarrassing photos of me or drawing I had hung in y old room or pictures with Zander in them. I found the picture and walked his way. "Here you go." I extended my arm out and the picture was held at the end of it. "Why is it folded and crumbled?" His face went from excited to sad really quick. "Oh sorry I replaced the photo of us two at Disney Land to a picture of me and Selena and Xavier. You see it." I pointed in it's direction. And he followed my pointing finger to the picture. "But..but this was our child hood. We were friends Jax." His voice was cracking of all the sadness built in it. "Oh yeah. We WERE friends. And know we aren't. So I would like if you were to leave." I said as sassy as possible.

He ran out of the room crying. But I walked to my opened door and leaned on it. "Bye!" I yelled out the door. I heared his feet stomp his way down. "That was easier than I thought. I got my phone which was charging. I went down my contacts list to find Xavier's number. 

"Hello?" I said thru the phone. "Hey. Who this?" He asked. He sounded confused. I wonder why. "Me. Jax." I said. "Well sorry I don't know a Jax." I was stunned. I thought he was playing around. "Come on Xavier. You know the guy that called you from the rehab center. The one you poured dye on." I said. "Oh you think this is Xavier. Oh sorry for the inconvenience. I'm Xavier's boyfriend Carlos. I'm Latino." Carlos spoke confidently. "Well can you tell Xavier I called and if he can give me a call back please. I would really appreciate that. Bye Carlos and sorry for the inconvenience as well." I said thru the phone. Then the line died. Boyfriend? I guess I really didn't mean anything to him. Those last couple of minutes we spent at my old house. God he really didn't even care about the 'I love you' from earlier today. He was just playing with me. But that didn't matter. I am going to a new school with a new start. And maybe I can find the right person there.

A/n: To end November I have decided to let this be part 1 of 2 chapters. So we will end November with part 1 of this story line and we will start December with part 2. But no matter that we made it to the first half of the half way mark in the book. I am so excited. But remembered there is still another half to go. Remember Monday 12th of December the new book begins!!! Love you <3. Byeeeee!