bracelet ➝ bamlisa 『✔ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇᴅ』

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06
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Guilt. Rarely has one small word been so widely misunderstood. Guilt is frequently being viewed as a virtue, as a high sense of responsibility and morality. The truth, however, is that guilt is the greatest destroyer of emotional energy. It leaves you feeling immobilized in the present by something that has already occurred.

Guilt isn't exactly a feeling of extreme regret. Could be a development of self hatred and a desire to punish oneself. In much simple terms, it is typically a kind of annoying pain that keeps hitting you and you keep thinking back.

That was exactly what BamBam has been feeling for the past months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds. Pretty frustrating, right?

He wanted to stop. But couldn't either, no matter how hard he tried.

The frustrated fellow once again, sighed heavily. The cruel words Lisa had told him yesterday was still bothering him.

"Because I didn't want to remember you."

That hurt.

Those measly words felt like knife, stabbing through his flesh and ripping it apart.

BamBam frowned, staring at his horrible facial features in front of a mirror. He's been in the bathroom for quite a while. And all he's been doing there is just staring at his own reflection the whole time.

"BamBam, get out of there right now." the leader's voice boomed from the other side of the door. "You've been there for almost two hours! We need to use the batroom too, you little punk!"

"Use the other bathroom then!" BamBam shouted back, his voice echoing in the room.

"It's out of order, remember?" the other latter reminded. "Youngjae's stinking feces are still stuck in the toilet."

"Hey! It's not that bad..."

BamBam assumed that the voice belonged Youngjae.

In their dorm, the boys has two bathrooms. But due to Youngjae's...well um...you know, they couldn't use the other one until someone actually had the courage to come and fix it.

Once, when the giant maknae tried entering the 'out of order' bathroom, the stink quickly hit his nostrils and once he caught a glimpse of the dark stuff in the toilet, he threw up and came crying to his older members.

"You're so cruel, Youngjae Hyung..." Yugyeom had sniffed and pointed at the said latter.

As for the male that had caused the toilet to be out of order, he simply pouted his lips and complained at how it's not his fault but the food that he ate.

BamBam clicked his tongue, glaring at his own reflection in the mirror. He scanned his whole face. His horrible expression, tangled hair and bare face. He looked pathetic, he thought.

Then again, Lisa's words stabbed him once more. That measly sentence ─ "Because I didn't want to remember you." ─ felt like torture. It echoed in his mind repeatedly that he's getting sick of it. But the pain seemed to just stay ─ remain there and keep causing bruises and scars.

"Ugh." he groaned, clenching his fists into a form of a ball. BamBam closed his eyes, steadily inhaled and exhaled air to calm himself down.

But as his eyes were closed, the memories automatically flashed through his head. The past.

「 FLASHBACK 」

The young latter scanned his new room, slightly bigger than his old one. It was clearly empty. Walls painted with a light blue pigment, a glass window and a closet. Quite simple.