Thank You For Saving Me // Stauren

chapter sixty one

Lauren's P.O.V

It was horrible. Weeks and weeks of hoping and praying for our son and daughter to be okay. But, it eventually payed off. Our little boy, named Nova James Yeun, was claimed healthy and was admitted a discharge from the hospital; which I was very happy about, if not ecstatic. But our baby girl, Adeline (Addy) Luna Yeun, wasn't her best. Yes, she was getting better by the day, but she was still struggling on a day to day basis. Steven was strong, he was the one telling me and others around us that everything would be okay, and turn out just fine. Many times, I didn't listen, I didn't want to hear it. He didn't know, nor could he tell the future. So technically, he was lying. And we made a promise in the past to never lie to each other, clearly that promise was always going to get broken.

For me, luck was running out. I was trying my best to stay positive, despite how I refused to go home, not wanting to see the baby furniture etc, that hadn't been moved to the baby room yet. Since our house is a near one hour drive, Emily said we could go to her place for showers and to take a break from the hospital, just like Steven did when I was in hospital. But, Steve would also make trips back to our home then come back the next day, not telling me what he did when I ask, which was frustrating.

I, on the other hand, was forced to Emily's apartment when visiting times were over, and it made my heart hurt knowing I'd be leaving them by themselves.

I refused to do most things, the things that keep you alive. Eating, drinking, socialising (might not keep you alive but keeps you from going insane) everything. I can't remember the last time I've had a full conversation with someone, I usually nod or shrug, sometimes even nothing. I could tell Steven was going to break. He doesn't do well in these situations, and clearly, the lack of me contrasting with our ill children was pushing him to the point of saying "fuck it" and walking out, which terrified me.

But here we were, December 30th. Never had Christmas, never had time with family or friends, never got to give and receive presents that we all spent time thinking about, buying and the dreadfully wrapping. All I wanted was for our babies to be okay, to be home with us, where they belong. But we had to wait, and it was torture.

I heard the door open to Emily's as Steve strolled in, looked exhausted. "Hey..." I heard him mumble to Emily, "has she been?" he continued, clearly referring to me.

"I don't know, to be honest... I put a movie on earlier to hopefully lighten the mood, but she ended falling asleep." Emily replied, both, her and Steve, acting like I'm not there.

"Well, that's good. Isn't it?" he asked, obviously confused with her still depressed tone and how she shook her head after he muttered those words.

"Nope. She fell asleep for, like, half an hour before waking up again. Anyway, where did you go?" She answered before I started to tune in as she asked that question.

"The house." He said simply, taking his coat off and hanging it up before starting to walk through the apartment.

"But why?" she asked yet another question, following Steven into the living room to where I lay on the sofa, the movie "Alice in Wonderland" playing quietly in the background as they spoke.

"Just... to get things, move things around, you know, little things." He replied once again, leaning down to me and planting a kiss on my forehead, my eyes not leaving the colour filled screen that lay on the wall not far from me.

"No, I don't know. That's why I asked." She spat while crossing her arms, clearly getting aggravated by his attitude towards this situation.

He sighed, "Look, Em, it was a long, ass drive and I could really do without this nattering at this moment."

"No! I'm not "nattering" to be a pain, I'm doing it because I told you last night I had to go and buy groceries today, but you left, so I couldn't. I didn't want to leave Lauren by herself, even though, you were supposed to be with her. Comforting her. But, you know, going to your house that takes a while to get to is more important than your girlfriend, who's hurting." She started to shout, also getting more sarcastic.

"Yes! Hurting me! She doesn't try. And won't try! So how am I supposed to help her? Huh? Especially when she won't help herself?" he also began to shout, but getting softer as he went.

"How many times did you try?" Emily muttered, surprising Steven by her sudden change of tone and value, this tone showed more sympathy and sorrow, but not aimed at him.

"Um... I don't..." He stuttered, realising her point.

"Exactly. So, man up." She spat once more, walking away into a different room, leaving me and him alone. He slowly came and sat down next to me, hesitating to speak.

"Lauren..." He mumbled, trying to get my attention, something of which he already had. "Please talk... just once. It's getting hard now. You won't help me out. Or yourself. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall... Laur, I'm going through the same thing..."

As soon as I heard him say that I slowly sat up, seeing a slight speck of hope in his eyes.

That is, before I got up and walked to the bedroom, looking like I had all the life drained out of me, which I did.

There was nothing about any of this that could have been for the good. I've been told that "maybe this has happened for a reason" or "it's gonna turn out okay", and it's stupid. Unrealistic. Not true.

Don't you wish you could just sleep and wake up to everything being perfect?

Or, don't you wish you could just sleep and not wake up at all?

A/N:

Depressing and kind of boring but I needed a filler chapter.
Anyway, the names came from my own little brain and I have the "models", if you may, of the twins. I will put them as the pic soon but until then, keep reading, voting and commenting and I love all of you!
Btw, I'm ill so Kms.
Hope you had a great Christmas and it was b-day yesterday woo :)

And for a question, what do you think Lauren's gonna do? :/

See y'all later x