A funny word called Love

Chapter 14

Yuri didn't know what he was doing or what the hell was happening but he knew he needed to get away to somewhere where Otabek wouldn't find him. He would talk to Otabek eventually, it's just that right now he needed some time to think. To hopefully come up with some rational solution to this mess. He racked his head for places to stay other than his home and the only one that he thought that Otabek wouldn't find him easily at was Yuuri and Viktor's apartment. This wasn't going to be pleasant of course, but to hell with it, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Thankfully, their apartment was nearby, and he was soon ringing the doorbell. "Yuri?" Viktor questioned when he opened the door. "What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"None of your damn business, I just need a place to stay until I've sorted everything out!" Yuri said, trying to keep his anger under control by taking deep breaths.

"Hey it's okay, you can always stay here if you need. But what do you need to sort out? Is your home okay? Did something go wrong? Is Otabek alright?" Yuuri asked.

"Can I please just have some time alone to think things through? Please?" Yuri said, desperate to process everything.

"Of course, we'll leave you alone. Let us know if you need anything," Viktor said quickly, quite surprised at this sudden action from Yuri. He had never, in all the time they had rink mates, seen Yuri say please. Something must've gone terribly wrong.

'Thank god,' Yuri's mind said as Viktor and Yuuri exited the room. 'Okay, so what now? What did Otabek mean when he called me 'love'? Does Otabek have feelings for me? If so, would he be okay that I don't? Would this ruin our friendship?' These thoughts continued to spiral and spiral, Yuri losing control of the dialogue, the opposite of what he had hoped to achieve by being able to try and think things out. Tears had started falling into his lap, and he hadn't even realized that he had been crying.

"Yuri, I'm going to come in, okay?" Yuri heard Viktor call out to him, and had entered the room before waiting for a response. The older man rushed over to the younger one when he saw the streams of tears cascading down Yuri's face. "Hey, what's going on? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I just don't want to lose him," Yuri whispered, more to himself than anything else.

"Hey, I don't know what's going on. I mean, I assume that it has something to do with Otabek, but still. No matter what this is right now, it's going to be okay. Whatever this is will pass. You're going to be okay," Viktor reassured, and Yuri began to regain his composure slightly.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. Viktor exclaimed, "I'll get it!" And opened the door to an extremely worried looking Otabek. Viktor didn't know whether to keep him away from Yuri or show him to Yuri, so instead just stood frozen at the door.

Yuuri had also walked into the main room, and Yuri mouths "What the fuck" at him.

Yuuri walked over to Yuri and explained, "When you came over I assumed that something seriously bad had happened, and had found his contact info in your phone and texted him. Oh don't look so angry, you left the phone right on the counter and I was concerned for your safety. I just sent him, 'Yuri showed up at Viktor and I's apartment looking super shaken. Is everything alright?' Stop glaring at me, I thought your home had burnt down or something like that. I still don't even know what's happening honestly!"

Yuri then decided to be a bit impulsive and walks over to the door. "Hey," Otabek said, "Do you ehm, want to talk outside?"

"Sure," Yuri mutters, avoiding eye contact and following Otabek to the outside of the apartment building. Though it was cold, it was far from curious ears, so the chill was worth it.

While walking out, Otabek's mind was racing, 'I did it. I screwed it up. It had to happen, I suppose. An entire week without any disasters would've been to good to be true... What the hell am I even going to do???'

As soon as they got outside Otabek started rambling, "I'm so so sorry. I feel like I've just messed up everything with you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that. It's just that I forgot. I forgot how other people view the word love. It's a funny word really. It means something so uniquely different to every person. But the word love in my definition is probably something different than love in your definition fuck I'm so sorry. It's just that the concept of what love is to other people is so foreign. I forget how other people view the word."

"What do you mean?" Yuri inquired, now truly confused. What was this man even going on about.

"To me love has always been a platonic term. Other people view it as something that is romantic. But I don't. I'm asexual and aromantic, so I view the word love in a platonic sense," Otabek said, then noting the bewildered look on Yuri's face, clarified, "I'm asexual which means that I'm not sexually attracted to anybody, and I'm aromantic, meaning that I'm not romantically attracted to anybody either. I'm so sorry. I forgot that everybody else on this goddamn planet assumes that the word love only refers to romantic feelings. But no, it can be completely platonic! I'm so sorry that I made you so uncomfortable Yuri. I don't love you romantically or anything, but I can't deny that I love you platonically."

"Oh," Yuri said, not knowing how to reply after that, and instead staring off into the stars behind Otabek.

"Are you alright? Do you want me to leave?"

"I'm fine. You can stay," Yuri said, the far away look still in his eyes. Minutes of silence passed before Yuri broke it by saying, "I like your definition of love..."

"Yeah?" Otabek questions, not quite knowing what was happening. Was everything alright? Was this going to turn out okay?

"Yeah. I also can't deny that I love you platonically," Yuri said, and then thought, 'Finally, I understand how I feel about Otabek. I understand what love is to me!' Yuri once again didn't notice the tears pouring down his face, but this time these were tears of happiness. The happiness of actually knowing what that funny word called love was to him.

"Yuri are you alright? You're crying," Otabek said, worrying he had done something wrong again.

"Oh..." said Yuri, realizing that there were tears on his cheeks, "Yeah, I'm alright." And then Yuri found himself hugging Otabek, and noticing that Otabek was crying as well.