A funny word called Love

Chapter 31

Before Yuri knew it, it was the night before the Rostelecom Cup, and Yuri was soon drifiting into sleep.

"Yuri, your grandfather, he died while you were at the Rostelecom Cup. He had another stroke and couldn't make it." Yakov told Yuri.

"What!" was all that Yuri said before he raced off to Moscow to see if this troubling news was true.

Yuri found his grandfather in the same hospital and on the same bed as he had been when he had visited him after his grandfather's first stroke. This time, it was clear that he was not alive, for no breaths moved through his body. His face, although it looked at peace, was oddly pale, and his eyes were shut tight. "Hello Yuratchka," the corpse said serenely.

"G-grandfather? Aren't you, aren't you dead?" Yuri said in shock at seeing a dead body talk.

"Never one to be subtle, were you. And yes, I suppose I am dead. Maybe if you had been there, you could've given me the strength that I had needed to pull through, but alas, that's not how things played out. I hope that you did well in the Rostelecom Cup though, even though it may have cost me my life. If you had been there, though, this body would probably still have breath flowing through it."

"What?"

"You always gave me strength, seeing you always reminded me why I was here. And then you weren't here, and life slipped through my fingers like grains of sand in somebody's hand. Of course, it's not your fault. But you being there would've helped..."

"I'm sorry Grandfather! I didn't know until the competition was over. If I had known, I would've come over right away!"

"Would you have? Or would you have chosen your ice skating career over your own family."

"Yes I would've come, I swear! Of course I would've come! You mean so much to me, how could you say that I wouldn't come!" Yuri shouted, desperately wishing that he could force his grandfather to believe what he said, to believe the truth, before falling into a pool of swirling blackness that he never seemed to reach the bottom of.

A voice came out of nowhere and said, "Your mother and I could've been happy."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you hadn't been born, your mother and I could've been happy together. But I didn't want to have children. I didn't want you. And yet there you were, three weeks until your birth so I left. I left because of you. You were what ruined our happiness Yuri. If you hadn't been born, your mother and I would still be together and we would be happy, but you were going to be born, wrecking everything we had worked so hard to establish. Ruining a marriage that was going perfectly smoothly until you. It's your fault that I left, and it's your fault that your mother isn't happy."

It registered with Yuri that this was his father speaking, and he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what he could do, he just choked out, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," before the blackness completely enveloped him, leaving him to think about how once again, it was all his fault. His fault that his father left him. Without Yuri there, maybe Yuri's mother would've smiled more. Maybe his father and his mother would still be together and be a beautiful, happy couple. But no, Yuri had been born, destroying everything, and ruining the happiness that had once existed.

And then it was light again. He was at his grandfather's place, and his mother was saying her goodbyes to him. This was right when she was abandoning him. "I'll always love you Yuri. Even if you are a bother that only made me want to scream. Even if it's a miracle that I didn't do any more serious physical harm. Even if you're the reason I'm leaving. Even if I'm leaving because with you, I'll never be able to achieve happiness. Even if you will never be able to please anybody, and you will never be able to bring people happiness. Even if I know that nobody will ever be able to be happy when they're with you, and that you are like poison to everyone you interact with. Remember that Yuri."