Save Me

one hundred two

"Sometimes that is the best thing you can do." She says.

"Living without sunshine." I say.

_________________

[Olivia's POV]

*There will be triggering content in this chapter such as self harm and eating disorders. This is a warning what is coming*

New Years Eve arrived much faster than I anticipated and I was now a nervous mess as I practiced my songs in my room. I can't do this, I'm too nervous, I think I am going into heart failure. 

Lin told me that he would meet me at the coffee shop after the show so I had to drive there at eight which is in two hours. I decide to get ready, knowing that it will take forever. 

I straighten my hair and let it hang down my back. I begin to put on some makeup while I listen to music. I go to my closet and pick out an outfit. I go with a high neck black shift dress which have long sleeves, a pair of black thigh high socks, and a pair chunky heeled black boots. I put on my necklace that Anthony gave me and wonder whether he will come to see me tonight. Why do I care? He is probably doing something else, he does have a life after all. 

I look at my appearance in my full length mirror and sigh. I hate my body, why must I look like this? Lin always says that I am so tiny but how does he think that? I am seriously huge. I go into the bathroom and step on the scale that is placed in the corner. 115 pounds.. I sigh and step off the scale. I'm 5'2 and 115 pounds, absolutely disgusting. I wish I was 100 pounds, then I could be happy. 

I pinch my stomach and pull at the fat I have. I run my hands along my nonexistent collarbones, I wish they were more prominent. I look at my thighs wishing that there was more space between them. I force my self to look away from my reflection and leave the bathroom. 

It's almost eight o'clock so I zip my guitar in it's case, throw on my coat, and grab my phone and head out the door. I get in my new car and start the engine and start driving to the coffee shop. It feels weird driving by myself because I haven't had my license for that long but it is so nice.  

I arrive at the shop shortly and park my car. My breathing rate increases as I see how many people are inside already. I can't do this. I can't do this! I begin to hyperventilate by myself and wonder if I should just run away and not sing. There is such a big difference between singing into a phone than singing in front of people that are all staring at me. 

I hear a knock on my passenger window and turn to see Anthony. 

"Can I come in?" He asks. I nod and he gets into the car. "Hey, are you alright?" 

"No. Anthony, I can't do this." I say between breaths. 

"Hey, hey. Look at me." He tells me. I look at him and he gives me a small smile. "You got this. You have so much talent and we all just want to listen to you. You will be okay." 

"Okay." I say, trying to calm down. "Okay, I think I'm alright." 

"Good." He says. "How is it that you are sixteen and have a nicer car than me?" He laughs. 

"I know, I seriously hate Lin for getting me this. It's too much." I say. "I mean it's amazing, don't get me wrong. But.. Too much." 

"He just loves you." He says. His eyes glance to my neck and they light up when he sees that I am wearing his necklace. 

"We should probably get inside." I say, unbuckling. He nods and steps out of the car. I open the trunk and get my guitar and head inside. I spot Lin and go over to him. I hug him and say hello before heading to the front desk to ask where I need to be. 

They tell me to go ahead and get started so I head over to a chair that has been set up for me with a microphone. I sit on the chair and position the microphones near my mouth and the other by by guitar. 

"Hello, I'm Olivia. I'm going to be playing a couple of songs for you tonight. Starting with I'd Rather Go Blind." I say, Anthony winks at me as he stands by the wall. I smile at him and begin to play the song. 

"Something told me it was over. When I saw you and her, talking. Something deep down in my soul said cry girl. When I saw you and that girl walking around. I would rather go blind boy, than to see you walk away from me child and all." I sing into the microphone nervously. I look up and sing more of the song with more confidence. 

"Yeah baby!" Jasmine hollers as I hit a high note. I finish the song and feel my face blush as everyone claps for me. 

I sing the other three songs and thank everyone for coming. I put my guitar away and head over to Lin. 

"You were so amazing!" He says, giving me a tight hug. 

"That was terrifying." I say with a laugh. 

"Well, you did great." Vanessa says, giving me a hug. 

A man in a suit with a clean shave comes up to us and says, "I really enjoyed your performance." 

"Thank you. I'm glad you liked it." I say. 

"Theodore Greyson, founder of Greyson Productions. I see something in you Olivia, I want to sign you on as an artist. I think you could do great things." He says. My heart drops as well as my jaw. 

"Are you serious?" I ask him. "I would love to!" 

"Here, take my card and email me and we can talk more about it." He says giving me his business card. 

"It was great to meet you, Olivia." He says, shaking my hand. 

"You too, Mr. Greyson." I say back politely. Once he leaves I turn to Lin and say, "Oh my God.. Did that really just happen?" 

"Yep." he says, just as surprised as I am. 

I walk over to Anthony and say, "Did you like it?"

"You were amazing." He says to me. I smile and awkwardly stand there. 

"I got a signing offer from Greyson Productions." I tell him.

"Olivia! That's awesome!" He says embracing me in a hug. I wrap my arms around him and breathe in his scent and enjoying his warmth. He lets go of me after a moment and I wish he hadn't. 

"Uh, thanks for coming." I say, fiddling with my necklace. 

"I wouldn't miss it." He tells me. 

A few other cast members come over and talk to me for a while, Anthony leaves after a couple minutes. Maybe a friendship is the best thing for us, nothing more.

Hello everyone, I hope you are having a wonderful day! The hamilwriters and I have great news, we are going to be creating social media accounts on multiple platforms such as snapchat, tumblr, twitter, and instagram. Once I get more details on this I will link the accounts. Sneak peak, every Wednesday I will be taking over the snapchat so you guys can talk to me and just see what I am up to. The other girls (which includes Abi, Kendall, Emily, Rhayla, Tori, and Grace) will also be a part of the accounts and will take over on different days. 

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, leave me a vote and a comment if you did! 

love you 

- aibhlinn