Unlikely

Spiraling

I woke up, for the first time I could remember, laying in that same bed that Nevada had shamelessly cuddled up behind me in. The same crimson silky sheet bed in that shady club that I had no idea of where in the city it was even placed.
I sat up, apparently too fast because the air made me dizzy. I glanced around once my vision came back but I seen no sign of Nevada other than the leather jacket laying aross the edge of the bed. How many leather jackets does this fuck own?
I pulled myself to the same bathroom to clean up the dried blood from my nose and lip. Except this time, Nevada did it instead of sending his buff monkeys to do it. I was still in Rafael's shirt, and nothing else. Once again I found pain-killers behind the mirror in the bathroom.
Pain-killers along with little baggies of white powder, fucking cocaine.
I tried the door, needless to say it was locked. So I sat back down on the bed and tried to wrap my head completely around everything that transpired recently. How could I go from falling asleep cuddled next to Rafi to being beaten bloody and trapped in a drug king's club.
Just when I had thought it was a dream, I was knocked out of the dream like state by a shouting Nevada strolling happily in through the door.
"Niñita! You're awake!" His loud abrupt entrance gave me a headache and my head started to pound all over again.
He crouched in front of me and sat a duffle bag down on the bed next to me. "Nevada, why am I here?"
He laughed and moved over to catch my gaze, "Million dollar question, way to work up to it." He grinned at my annoyed face, "You couldn't keep your mouth shut last time so I'll keep you away from any cops. Forgive me for leaving you but I had to wipe all traces of me from your boyfriend's apartment. I picked up some of your clothes and all of your things."
I tried my best to keep up but he was talking so fast and carelessly my headache got worse, "Can you just slow d-"
He waved his hand to shush me and continued, "I also texted him from your phone that you were moving back to your hometown, wherever that is, and threw your phone into a drain pipe after crushing it." He pulled out a bottle of clear liquid and opened it, taking a swig then pushing it towards me, "You thirsty dear?"
I shook my head when I smelt the strong alcohol scent filling the air around the open bottle. Nevada laughed and stood up.
"Don't be silly, here," he grabbed me by the jaw and forced my head back and mouth open. I was going to protest but instead put my hands on his legs to catch my balance as he poured the liquid down my throat.
I swallow the liquid reluctantly and whinced at the strong taste, "Neva-"
"Good girl." He patted my cheek and threw the bottle beside me on the bed.
I stood up in front of him and tried to gather my thoughts, "Can you please just let me go, I won't tel-"
He pushed me back onto the bed and cut me off. I could barely get one sentence in with this guy. "You won't tell anyone? I tried that, remember?"
He pulled himself on top of me, crawling up in between my legs.
I put my hands on his shoulders and tried to push him off me but he easily pinned my arms above my head with both my wrists in one of his hands.
"You're gonna stay with me for a while, I tried the benefit of the doubt but that didn't work." He ran a hand down my side. When he reached my thigh he trailed back up this time under the oversized shirt I had on.
"They're gonna find you Nevada." I couldn't explain how they would and I knew I sounded unsure but I had nothing else to offer.
He just laughed and ducked his head to kiss down my neck, "I've always wanted to fuck you but I was trying to be nice." He bit on my collar bone before moving back up to my ear, "Too late for that though."
I squirmed underneath him while his hands wondered around my body. I hate to admit it but the way he didn't give me the chance to deny kind of made me want to deny it less.
His hand dropped down to my inner thigh and was trailing dangerously close to where I was anticipating his touch. He grazed straight past it and rested his hand on my stomach.
"You niña traviesa, I can't believe you like this." Nevada teased as he slowly trailed his hand up my torso.
My face flushed and I used every bit of denial I had, "No no, please just let me go."
"Oh I would but," he smiled as he removed his hand from under my shirt and put it around my throat. "You seem to be fine right here."
I opened my mouth and hesitated, not quite knowing what to say. Nevada tightened his hand around my neck slightly to push me to think faster. "What if I," Inhale. "If I can, do this, can I go?"
He simply shook his head and moved the hand on my neck to my chin, "You're not slipping away that easy niñita."
He kissed my forehead before reaching down to unbuckle his pants. How the hell could I possibly get myself out of this.

Rafael's POV
I had to head over to SVU at around 10, so I figured when I got there Carisi would've already left to make sure Naomi's fine.
When I walked in and seen everyone crowded in Liv's office I was a little confused. They told me they needed me to work out a deal with some scumbag's lawyer but there wasn't anyone there other than the squad.
"Why am I here again?" I stand in the doorway, looking at everyone's backs until they turn around. Opening a window for me to see Amaro sitting on the edge on Liv's desk.
He smiles at me, "Nice to see you too counselor."
I smile back before turning to Carisi, not really caring about Amaro's visit. "When are you going to check on Naomi?"
"Oh I forgot, I'll call her right now to make sure she's fine until I actually head over." He pats my shoulder and walks out of Benson's office.
Rollins, Tutuola, Benson and I all catch Amaro up on things that have happened since he left to California.
When we all disperse from the office, I see Carisi in the break room with his phone up to his ear and a panicked look on his face. I walk into the break room as he sits down at the table.
"Something wrong Carisi?" I watch his face carefully.
He just shakes his head and shows me his phone, "She isn't answering and I've called four times." He gulps and opens his messages, "Then she sent me this saying she's moving back home, what's that supposed to mean?"
I felt suddenly ill, as I reached for my own phone and seen I also had a message from her.

I'm sorry Rafael, I'm leaving. Don't bother looking for me.

She wouldn't do something like this, would she? Carisi confirms she wouldn't and we head out in the direction of the rest of the group to inform them.
"Nevada, he was released yesterday?" Amaro was trying to keep up, suddenly he was sucked back into the job he's left behind.
We were all heading over to my apartment and explaining the story to Amaro, adding on the message that was sent from her phone and calls she didn't answer.
Once we got up to the apartment, CSU trailing behind up ready to swipe up any DNA that could be there, we entered to what didn't look like a foul play scene. There was a smashed mug on the floor in the kitchen along with some blood, Naomi's. All of her clothes were gone from the bedroom and nothing else was bothered.
"What if she did just, leave?" I nudged at Carisi who was sitting on my couch, holding his head in his hands.
He shook his head, "She wouldn't. That peice of shit took her."

-------

The only prints found belonged to either Naomi or me, there was no trace of anyone else in that entire apartment. There was nothing but Carisi and I's interpretation of what we don't think she'd do, and we both knew that wasn't enough.
They found her phone smashed in a drain pipe about a mile away from my apartment, no prints.
They also found the phone that Nevada used to text her, no prints.
We spent days asking around, sending her and his pictures to the news stations. No one knew anything, if they did they weren't saying.
Days turned into weeks, and after a month they stopped officially looking. The text sent from her phone created the reasonable doubt that Nevada even had any inclusion but he had to, right? Everyone assumed that she just left, everyone other than Carisi and I.
Amaro went back to California with the thought that I was crazy. They must've all thought I was crazy. The first person I get involved with since I've known any of them just up and leaves everything behind. Was I defective?
He never admitted it but I just have a feeling Carisi blamed me. After three months and no trace of her anywhere, not even a body to bring some sort of closure to us. The idea of her leaving on her own seemed more real.