Broken Hearts Club

Chapter 17

Natasha

To say I was confused would be a very understating understatement. Early in the morning he sent me flowers, wrote me a birthday wish. He said it'll be the last time we meet, what the fuck is that supposed to mean. I knew by him saying that he's trying to say that he'll leave from my life and ... God, this is even harder to comprehend. He was in tears but so am I. He said he knew he loved me and that got me even more baffled, I had to remind myself to breathe.

All those times he shared his thoughts to me, how he just couldn't move on from Sharon that somehow after all that she had done to him, he still loved her anyway. At first I admired how loyal he was to her, how I actually realized that their relationship is real and not just for the sake of fame or popularity. I disliked Sharon a little bit for taking away the happy from his days, for a minute I hoped I could return it to him.

After all those times I thought he'd be running back to Sharon once I found Bucky was seeing another girl. I thought that maybe I'll help him be happy again that way, I had to brace the fact that maybe he'll spend less time with me if so and I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for this. I truly cared for him, I really do. I've finally let someone step in my life after so long, I think I might've forgotten how it felt to be loved.

I never was the epitome of a damsel in distress or of a moody teenager, but with him I felt comfortable. I cried openly to him, I told him my stories, I let him know when I'm sick. Ask a person who knows me and they'll definitely see two different types of me before and after all this. I didn't make a big deal about it to myself before, but as I weep on this floor it's like I finally realize things.

I wished I realized things sooner, like him being in love with me, 'cause that'll be an easier scenario and he wouldn't have left saying he's hurt, because he thinks I'm still in love with another man.

Another man.. Matt.

What happened with Matt and I was truly unfortunate. I was a journalist and part time ballerina and he was a lawyer. He was truly intelligent, I was intrigued and captivated by his traits. I thought I might've found 'the one', but then he left me at a very important day of my life. Sometimes remembering how he fed me with much hope and just left with no explanation clenched my heart, since then I try to put my mind somewhere else by focusing in journalism.

Matt's in god knows where and Steve... just the thought of him leaving me is like a slap to the face and a punch to the stomach, everything hurts. My legs gave up and here I am sobbing on the floor. My eyes were hurting but I can't seem to stop the tears. I was breathing in short breathes, I felt like suffocating because the thought of how people I love keep on leaving me is just too much to bear.

I was drowning in sadness, I reach my arms out but I can't pull my self back to the surface. I can't breathe. I keep on telling myself, you can do this, Romanoff, but turns out I was weaker than I thought. Then I was drowning a bit more deeper and deeper into the dark dark depths. I can't ask for help, because the person I cared the most left me. I've never been so helpless before.

It's scary how a broken heart leads to all this.

It was then in the state of emptiness, helplessness, desperation and sadness that I realize, I need Steve more than I knew.

It was then I knew I loved him. Not Matt, no.

Steve.

I figured I had to fix this before everything goes down and I end up losing someone again. I've felt a broken heart, I'm not willing to experience it again, not ever.

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Helloo, this is short I'm so so sorry. Steve POV coming soon! Thanks for the votes and comments in the previous chapter I hope you guys enjoyed this one and I hope you guys stick around till the end aye. I'm probably not gonna post this and next week because there are events I've got to attend and there's a major performance coming, I've got so many things to do I hope you understand 💕
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Much love ❤️