Broken Hearts Club

Chapter 18

Steve

I rushed out.

I ran. 'Cause that's the only thing my brain can tell me to do. But something inside me wants to anchor me down to this place and just stay. Stay with her. Soothe her.

I still can see her glossy eyes in my mind and I felt nothing but pain, clenching my heart tightly I had to help myself stand upright. Down I go to the outdoor parking lot, the sky was pitch black and I felt a drop of rain trickled onto my hands as I opened my car, or maybe it was my own tears. I can't tell.

I drove fast, faster than I ever did. I wanted to escape from all this pain, but there's no running away from this. I never thought, I never hoped to even fall in love with someone else after Sharon. I thought maybe I'd end up alone the rest of my life. Then she came, my days seemed to be brighter, in the darkest of days, in the midst of my sadness, she added a splash of color in the canvas of my life. She was my muse, I started to pour all the feelings she made me feel into the blank canvases or sketchbooks, or any other plain material I could find. Somehow, I couldn't get her out of my mind.

Since that day on the rooftop, I thought that maybe this was the chance to fix the broken in my heart. I thought, I assumed that she felt the same. But the next day, she was in my embrace, crying. I could see the sadness in her eyes, her usual glint of playfulness was gone when she told me her story. It pained me to see her like that, it's like my then colorful canvas of life turned black and white in a blink. I had to see her happy, I needed to see her happy. I knew that the only way to do so is to bring Matt back to her.

I know how it felt like to loose someone I love, I didn't want to end up hurting her or myself again. It hurts too much. If I really needed to be with someone, I'd rather be with someone else but her. Not because I don't love her, but it's because I'm afraid something goes wrong and I lose her and I'll go back to the agonizing pain I've encountered.

I know she must've been confused, but I had to do this, I had to step out of her life so that neither of us would end up getting hurt again. It hurts to say this but, it's for the best.

I was shaking out of sadness. I held onto any furniture I can find on my way back to my room, toppling down things on my way, but I didn't care because my world is toppling down too. I shakily knelt down to grab a sketch of her on the floor of my room, the pencil strokes were still rough but she looked beautiful nonetheless, like always. I ran a thumb across the picture of her face, then a tear fell staining the paper. I was shaking again and I let my tears flow freely this time, collapsing to the floor with the sketch on my hand. I could hear myself wishing to myself that she would be here. I know she wouldn't.

It's for the best,  I kept convincing myself.

I needed to distract myself from all this pain which I cannot endure no longer. Everything aches. The room was spinning and my vision was a blur. I wished I could wake up and tell myself everything was just a dream. I wished she would wake me up and tell me everything was just a dream.

I cannot keep on going like this, I have to move on. Let her live her life, and I'll live mine.

And we'll live a life without each other.

It's for the best, I forced myself to accept it once more.

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HII!! This was very short, and I think Steve POV is very hard to write so I'm sorry. I hope you guys enjoyed this. Leave comments and vote!

One-shot Romanogers stories coming soon aye! Stay tune!

 Much love <3